LIFE SKETCHES by Ellen G. White

Pacific Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Oakland, California · May 9, 1878

LIFE SKETCHES.

By Ellen G. White

CHAPTER V—CONTINUED.

PARENTAGE AND EARLY LIFE.

"WE were disappointed but not disheartened. We resolved to submit patiently to the process of purifying that God deemed needful for us; to refrain from murmuring at the trying ordeal by which the Lord was purging us from the dross and refining us like gold in the furnace. We resolved to wait with patient hope for the Saviour to redeem his tried and faithful ones.

"We are firm in the belief that the preaching of definite time was of God. It was this that led men to search the Bible diligently, discovering truths they had not before perceived. Jonah was sent of God to proclaim in the streets of Nineveh that within forty days the city would be overthrown; but God accepted the humiliation of the Ninevites and extended their period of probation. Yet the message that Jonah brought was sent of God, and Nineveh was tested according to his will. The world looked upon our hope as a delusion and our disappointment as its consequent failure; but though we were mistaken in the event that was to occur at that period, there was no failure in reality of the vision that seemed to tarry.

"The words of the Saviour in the parable of the wicked servant apply very forcibly to those who ridicule the near coming of the Son of man. 'But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming; and shall begin to beat their fellowservants, and to eat and drink with the drunken; the lord of that servant shall come in a day when he looketh not for him, and in an hour when he is not aware of, and shall cut him asunder, and shall appoint him his portion with the hypocrites.

"We found everywhere the scoffers which Peter says shall come in the last days, walking after their own lusts, and saying, Where is the promise of his coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. But those who had looked for the coming of the Lord were not without comfort, they had obtained valuable knowledge in the searching of the word. The plan of salvation was plainer to their understanding. Every day they discovered new beauties in its sacred pages and a wonderful harmony running through all, one scripture explaining another and no word used in vain.

"Our disappointment was not so great as that of the disciples. When the Son of man rode triumphantly into Jerusalem they expected him to be crowned king. The people flocked from all the region about and cried, 'Hosanna to the Son of David!' And Jesus, when the priests and elders besought him to still the multitude, declared that if they should hold their peace even the stones would cry out, for prophecy must be fulfilled. Yet in a few days these very disciples saw their beloved Master, whom they believed would reign on David's throne, stretched upon the cruel cross above the mocking, taunting Pharisees. Their high hopes were drowned in bitter disappointment, and the darkness of death closed about them.

"Yet Christ was true to his promises. Sweet was the consolation he gave his people, rich the reward of the true and faithful.

"Mr. Miller and those who were in union with him supposed that the cleansing of the sanctuary, spoken of in Dan. 8:14, meant the purifying of the earth prior to its becoming the abode of the saints. This was to take place at the advent of Christ, therefore we looked for that event at the end of the 2300 days, or years. But after our disappointment the Scriptures were carefully searched with prayer and earnest thought, and after a period of suspense as to our true position, light poured in upon our darkness; doubt and uncertainty was swept away.

"Instead of the prophecy of Dan. 8:14 refering to the purifying of the earth, it was now plain that it pointed to the closing work of our High Priest in heaven, the finishing of the atonement, and the preparing of the people to abide the day of his coming.

"I might give a more detailed explanation of the passing of the time as considered in the light of prophecy, but it is not in the legitimate province of this work to do so. I merely designed to give as brief an account as possible of these important events with which my life was so closely interwoven that they cannot consistently be omitted from these pages. I would, however, refer those readers who desire further information, to works on this subject which give a full exposition of it. Address Review and Herald, Battle Creek, Mich., or SIGNS OF THE TIMES, Oakland, Cal.

"I now return to my personal history from which I have necessarily digressed. After the passing of the time in 1844, my health rapidly failed, I could only speak in a whisper or broken tone of voice. One physician stated that my disease was dropsical consumption, he pronounced my right lung decayed and the left one considerably diseased, while the heart was seriously affected. He thought that I could live but a short time, and might die suddenly at any time. It was very difficult for me to breathe when lying down, and at night I was bolstered in almost a sitting posture, and was frequently wakened by coughing and bleeding at the lungs.

"About this time, while visiting a dear sister in Christ, whose heart was knit with mine, the first vision was given to me. There were but five of us, all women, kneeling quietly in the morning at the family altar, when this event transpired. I related this vision to the believers in Portland, who had full confidence that these manifestations were of God. A power attended them that could only emanate from the divine. A solemn sense of eternal interests was constantly upon me. An unspeakable awe filled me, that I, so young and feeble, should be chosen as the instrument by which God would give light to his people. While under the power of the Lord I was so inexpressibly happy, seeming to be surrounded by radiant angels in the glorious courts of heaven, where all is peace and joy, that it was a sad and bitter change to wake up to the unsatisfying realities of mortal life.

"In a second vision, which soon followed the first, I was shown the trials through which I must pass, and that it was my duty to go and relate to others the things that God had revealed to me. It was shown me that my labors would meet with great opposition, and that my heart would be wrought with anguish, but that the grace of God would be sufficient to sustain me through all. The teaching of this vision troubled me exceedingly, for it pointed that my duty was to go out among the people and teach the truth.

"My health was so poor that I was in actual bodily suffering, and to all appearance, had but a short time to live. I was but seventeen years of age, small and frail, unused to society, and naturally so timid and retiring that it was painful for me to meet strangers. I prayed earnestly for several days and far into the night, that this burden might be removed from me and laid upon some one else more capable of bearing it. But the light of duty never changed, and the words of the angel sounded continually in my ears, 'Make known to others what I have revealed to you.'

"I was unreconciled to going out into the world, its sneers and opposition rose before my mind in formidable array. I had little self-confidence. Hitherto when the Spirit of God had urged me to duty I had risen above myself, forgetting all fear and timidity in the great theme of Jesus' love and the wonderful work he had done for me. The constant assurance that I was fulfilling my duty and obeying the will of the Lord, gave me a confidence that surprised me and was foreign to my nature. At such times I felt willing to do or suffer anything in order to help others into the light and peace of Jesus.

"But it seemed impossible for me to accomplish this work that was presented before me; to attempt it seemed certain failure. The trials attending it appeared more than I could endure. How could I, a child in years, go forth from place to place unfolding to the people the holy truths of God! My heart shrank in terror from the thought. My brother Robert, but two years my senior, could not accompany me, for he was feeble in health and his timidity greater than mine; nothing could have induced him to take such a step. My father had a family to support and could not leave his business; but he repeatedly assured me that if God had called me to labor in other places, he would not fail to open the way for me. But these words of encouragement were little comfort to my desponding heart; the path before me seemed hedged in with difficulties that I was unable to surmount.

"I really coveted death as a release from the responsibilities that were crowding upon me. At length the sweet peace I had so long enjoyed left me, and my soul was plunged in despair. My prayers all seemed vain, and my faith was gone. Words of comfort, reproof or encouragement were alike to me, for it seemed that no one could understand me but God, and he had forsaken me. The company of believers in Portland were ignorant concerning the exercises of my mind that had brought me into this state of despondency, but they knew that for some reason my mind had become depressed, and they felt that this was sinful on my part, considering the gracious manner in which the Lord had manifested himself to me.

"A great fear possessed me that God had taken his favor from me forever. As I contemplated the light that had formerly blessed my soul, it seemed doubly precious as contrasted with the darkness that now enveloped me. Meetings were held at my father's house, but my distress of mind was so great that I did not attend for some time. My burden grew heavier until the agony of my spirit seemed more than I could bear.

"At length I was induced to be present at one of the meetings in my own home. The church made my case a special subject of prayer. Father Pearson, who in my earlier experience had opposed the manifestations of the power of God upon me, now prayed earnestly for me and counseled me to surrender my will to the will of the Lord. Like a tender father he tried to encourage and comfort me, bidding me believe I was not forsaken by the Friend of sinners.

"I felt too weak and despondent to make any special effort for myself on this occasion, but my heart united with the petitions of my friends. I cared little now for the opposition of the world, and felt willing to make every sacrifice if only the favor of God might be restored to me. While prayer was being offered for me, the thick darkness that had encompassed me rolled back and a sudden light came upon me. My strength was taken away. I seemed to be carried to heaven and into the presence of the angels. One of these radiant beings again repeated the words, 'Make known to others what I have revealed to you.'

"One great fear that haunted me was that if I obeyed the call of duty and went out into the open field, declaring myself to be one favored of the Most High with visions and revelations for the people, I might fall a prey to sinful exaltation and be lifted above the station that was right for me to occupy, bring upon myself the displeasure of God, and lose my own soul. I had before me several cases such as I have here described, and my heart shrank from the trying ordeal.

"I now entreated that if I must go and relate what the Lord had shown me I should be preserved from undue exaltation. Said the angel, 'Your prayers are heard and shall be answered. If this evil that you dread threatens you, the hand of God will be stretched out to save you, by affliction he will draw you to himself and preserve your humility. Deliver the message faithfully. Endure unto the end and you shall eat the fruit of the tree of life and drink of the water of life.'

"After recovering consciousness of earthly things, I committed myself to the Lord ready to do his bidding whatever that might be. Providentially the way opened for me to go with my brother-in-law to my sisters in Portland, thirty miles from my home. I there had an opportunity to bear my testimony.

"For three months my throat and lungs had been so diseased that I could talk but little and that in a low and husky tone. On this occasion I stood up in meeting and commenced speaking in a whisper. I continued thus for about five minutes, when the soreness and obstruction left my throat and lungs, my voice became clear and strong, and I spoke with perfect ease and freedom for nearly two hours. When my message was ended my voice was gone until I stood before the people again, when the same singular restoration was repeated. I felt a constant assurance that I was doing the will of God, and saw marked results attending my efforts.

"The way providentially opened for me to go to the eastern part of Maine. Brother Wm. Jordan was going on business to Orington, accompanied by his sister, and I was urged to go with them. I felt somewhat reluctant to do so, but as I had promised the Lord to walk in the path he opened before me, I dared not refuse. At Orington I met Elder James White. He was acquainted with my friends and was himself engaged in the work of salvation.

"The Spirit of God attended the message I bore, hearts were made glad in the truth, and the desponding ones were cheered and encouraged to renew their faith. At Garland a large number collected from different quarters to hear my message. But my heart was very heavy for I had just received a letter from my mother begging me to return home for false reports were being circulated concerning me. This was an unexpected blow. My name had always been free from the shadow of reproach, my reputation was very dear to me. I also felt grieved that my mother should suffer on my account; her heart was bound up in her children and she was very sensitive in regard to them. If there had been an opportunity I should have set out for home immediately; but this was impossible.

"My sorrow was so great that I felt too depressed to speak that night. My friends urged me to trust in the Lord; and at length the brethren engaged in prayer for me. The blessing of the Lord soon rested upon me and I bore my testimony that evening with great freedom. There seemed to be an angel standing by my side to strengthen me. Shouts of glory and victory went up from that house, and the presence of Jesus was felt in our midst.

"Soon after I went to Exeter, a small village not far from Garland. Here a heavy burden rested upon me from which I could not be free until I related what had been shown me in regard to some fanatical persons who were present. This I did, mentioning that I was soon to return home and had seen that these persons were anxious to visit Portland; but they had no work to do there, and would only injure the cause by their fanaticism. I declared that they were deceived in thinking that

they were actuated by the Spirit of God. My testimony was very displeasing to these persons and their sympathizers. It cut directly across their anticipated course and in consequence aroused in them feelings of bitterness and jealousy towards me.

"I now returned to Portland, having traveled and labored for three months bearing the testimony that God had given me, and experiencing his approbation at every step.

"Soon after quite a number of us were assembled at the house of Brother Howland in Topsham. Sister Frances Howland, a very dear friend of mine, was sick with the rheumatic fever and under the doctor's care. Her hands were so badly swollen that we could not distinguish the joints. As we sat together speaking of her case, Brother Howland was asked if he had faith that his daughter could be healed in answer to prayer. He answered that he would try to believe that she might, and presently declared that he did believe it possible. We all then knelt in earnest prayer to God in her behalf. We claimed the promise, 'Ask and ye shall receive.'

"The blessing of God attended our prayers, and we had the assurance that God was willing to heal the afflicted one. Elder D. cried out, 'Is there a sister here who has the faith to go and take her by the hand and bid her arise in the name of the Lord?'

"Sister Frances was lying in the chamber above, and before he ceased speaking Sister Curtis was on her way to the stairs. She entered the sick room with the Spirit of God upon her, and taking the invalid by the hand said, 'Sister Frances, in the name of the Lord arise and be whole.' New life shot through the veins of the sick girl, a holy faith took possession of her, and obeying its impulse, she rose from her bed, stood upon her feet, walked the room praising God for her recovery. She was soon dressed and came down into the room where we were assembled, her countenance lighted up with unspeakable joy and gratitude.

"The next morning she took breakfast with us. Soon after, as Elder White was reading from the fifth chapter of James, for family worship, the doctor came into the hall, and, as usual, went up stairs to visit his patient. Not finding her there, he hurried down and with a look of alarm opened the door of the large kitchen where we were all sitting, his patient in our midst. He gazed upon her with astonishment and at length ejaculated, 'So Frances is better!'

"Brother Howland answered, 'The Lord has healed her,' and the reader resumed his chapter where he had been interrupted, 'Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church ; and let them pray over him.' The doctor listened with a curious expression of mingled wonder and incredulity upon his face, nodded, and hastily left the room. The same day Sister Frances rode three miles and returned home in the evening; although it was rainy she sustained no injury, and continued to rapidly improve in health. In a few days, at her request she was led down into the water and baptized. And although the weather and the water were very cold, and her disease rheumatic fever, she received no injury, but from that time was free from the disease, and in the enjoyment of her usual health." J. W.