TRAINING THE CHILD OUT OF SELF-LOVE.
By Ruth Grey
At birth man is not only the most helpless of animals but the most destitute of intelligence. For in the beginning of life he possesses neither instinct nor the capability for thought. The intellectual and moral faculties, and all that is spiritual in man's nature, await development and growth. The lower order of these faculties are the first to develop. The first manifestations of love are confined to the narrow limitations of self. But early the little soul throws out its tendrils to cling to the support of outward love and sympathy. It embraces the mother first, because she contributes the most directly to its enjoyment and comfort; and then, as the circle widens, it learns to regard the other near friends with favor, in the degree that they minister to the pleasure of the young autocrat. Love has, as yet, no generous promptings. Possession is the whole law. The child not only clings tenaciously to his own, and makes vigorous protests if required to share with his little friends, but, regardless of their feelings and rights, demands possession of all of theirs in which he delights. A child must be educated out of self-love. The mother who compels the elder child to relinquish its toys to the younger because the younger cries for their possession, perpetrates a grievous wrong upon both—not only to the elder, in whom all generous impulses have been checked by this arbitrary act of injustice, and who relinquishes the toy with indignation and hate, but also to the younger, who receives it and laughs through his tears in triumph over the conquests of his selfish exactions. Teaching an older child the delights of cheerful giving will also quicken a spirit of generous love and gratitude in the younger. Training a child out of self-love is not only the most difficult, but it is the most important point in the mother's work. When a child has been led to feel pleasure in giving, and shares of its own accord with its playmates, a great and lasting victory has been gained, and one in which the mother may well rejoice. Unfortunately, there are individuals who reach maturity without having received this training. Such persons are self-centered, and self-love is the mainspring of all their actions. Every motive and every desire goes forth only to bring some tribute back to self. It brings no blessing to the object upon which it has fastened its tentacles, and, like the bee that revels in the heart of the flower, it extracts all sweets and gives nothing in return. It demands all love's service and sacrifices, and still cries, Give, give, with no thanks for the gift or generous thought to the giver. It does not suffer in sympathy with the suffering, neither can it experience aught of holy joy. In the education of the heart of the child that it may be capable of receiving these higher promptings, much, if not all, rests with the mother. Daniel Webster has said: “If we work upon marble, it will perish; if we work upon brass, time will efface it; if we rear temples, they will crumble into dust; but if we work upon immortal minds, if we imbue them with right principles, with the just fear of God and love of our fellow-men, we engrave on those tablets something which will brighten to all eternity.”—The Voice.