Reproof by T. M. Steward

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Aug 30, 1870

Reproof.

By T. M. Steward

“Let the righteous smite me, it shall be a kindness; and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head.” Ps. 141: 5.

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten; be zealous therefore and repent.” Rev. 3: 19.

“And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him. For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the Father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and not sons. Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence; shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; and make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.” Heb. 12: 5–13.

With this instruction before us, how meekly should we hear the reproofs we may receive from the Father of spirits, through whatever channel he may choose, remembering he does it for our profit, that we may be partakers of his holiness. What a condescension for the God of Heaven to take us in our sinful state to fit us up for adoption into his family, to make us sinless, holy, pure, and spotless beings. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. He knows our weakness and our temptations, and he pities us as a father pities his children. If we do wrong, he is grieved and kindly sends us help, if we will accept it. He chastens us for our profit, that we may be partakers of his holiness.

I think, that of all his children, I have the greatest reason to be thankful. He has borne with me so long, and now sends me a token of his love by reproving my sins, and revealing to me the secrets of my heart. Dear brethren and sisters of Wisconsin and Illinois, I want to confess to you that I feel greatly humbled in view of my past course in this great and good cause. I have never doubted that this is the work of the Lord, and that the third angel’s message is now being given. My failure has not been a lack of faith in our theory, but in suffering the enemy to come in and sow seeds of envy and jealousy in my heart, and to alienate my feelings from my brethren, and thus cause me to lose the spirit of the message. I feel thankful that the Lord has not left me to perish in my sins, but has sent me another testimony to show me my errors that I may put them away before Jesus leaves the sanctuary. I know of no way to dispose of sins, but to confess and forsake them, and seek pardon through the atoning blood of Jesus our great High Priest. I will try, by his grace, to make thorough work, that I may heed this testimony. I accept it with all my heart. I want to go over the whole ground and leave no stone unturned. When I first embraced the message, I did not understand the nature or the magnitude of the work to be done; yet I loved the truths, and the Lord blessed me abundantly. Instead of humbling myself for this as I should have done, I became exalted over it, and the enemy planted seeds of jealousy in my heart toward God’s chosen, humble, and faithful servants; and when the “Messenger” party arose, notwithstanding I could see a wrong spirit with them, yet I sympathized with them in their feelings toward Bro. White, and my influence was in their favor. I feel to regret this very much, and I am sorry I have not taken more pains to make this right. I am satisfied I have grieved the Spirit of God in this, and wounded the feelings of Bro. White. May the Lord pardon his servant for this evil, and I humbly ask the forgiveness of Bro. White, not because I am worthy, but for Jesus’ sake. After this I felt so strong and confident in myself that I thought I could go through without help, and so took an independent stand without inquiring how the Lord would carry on his work. The Lord could not countenance this self-sufficiency, so he left me to try my skill alone. Satan soon got the advantage of me, blinded my eyes, filled my heart with pride and self-righteousness, until the Lord saw I was going to injure his cause, and he kindly sent his servants to warn me of my danger. They came to Mauston and found me in the midst of fanaticism, encouraging and sustaining it by my influence. They kindly and faithfully pointed out my danger. They did their duty, and if I had been teachable, humble, and consecrated, as I ought to have been, I should have been saved the shame and remorse of bringing a fearful stain on the cause of God. I was so stubborn and so blinded, I would not yield to their judgment, and the Lord left me to the folly and wickedness of my course. Oh! what a stain was brought upon the cause in that part of the field. I fear I do not realize its extent. I feel deeply to regret my course. I beg of the Lord that he will forgive me my wrong in this thing. I was all wrong. Could this atone for my sin, I would be willing to water my path to the kingdom of God with my tears. But my only hope is in the precious blood and ministration of Christ. The Lord kindly sent me a testimony that my heart was not right in his sight, and pointed out some of my wrongs. I accepted the testimony by

a nominal assent, but my proud heart kept me from humbling myself as I should, so I did not meet the mind of the Spirit in this. I am satisfied I have grieved my heavenly Father, and my dear Saviour, by refusing to profit by the reproof, and thus to make straight paths for my feet. I now see that my course has been a great injury to the brethren and sisters of my acquaintance.

My dear brethren and sisters, I beg of you to forgive me, and seek a place at the feet of Jesus, and heed his counsel by the testimonies of his Spirit, and let him lead you to victory over all your sins. I now verily believe the Lord sent Bro. White to Mauston to help us. I am sorry I stood in the way to prevent the work.

And also at Marquette my influence was all wrong. I fear I have prejudiced some against the work of the Lord that can never be reached. May the Lord pardon me. I fear souls have stumbled over my course into perdition. Dreadful thought! Selfishness had so blinded my eyes, that I complained of others when I was in the fault myself. I have never realized the sinfulness of my course as I do now; and the earnest prayer of my heart is, that the Lord would show me the full extent of my wrong, and the corruption of my own heart, and roll the burden on me until I may have that godly sorrow for my sins that shall work a thorough repentance unto life not to be repented of. I have felt a barrenness of soul for months together. Then I would by wrestling with God in prayer get faint rays of hope and light. But I did not persevere as I should. I have not been as much in secret prayer as I ought, and as a Christian must be to meet the mind of the Spirit. It is dangerous to neglect secret prayer. Selfishness, stubbornness, and jealousy, have been the curse of my life. I feel deeply to regret that my past life has been a failure. But shall I give up in despair? Thou that teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? My instruction to others would be, Humble yourself before God, confess and forsake your sins, and by faith, seek pardon through the precious blood of Jesus, and you shall find mercy. I must find it in the same way; for God is no respecter of persons, only a respecter of character. I am thankful that the mercy-seat still covers the law of God, and by his grace I am going to seek meekness that I may be hid in the day of the Lord’s anger. I believe I can put away my selfishness with the Lord’s help, and that I can overcome my stubborn pride, and jealousy, by cultivating in their place the graces of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. While these abound in the heart there is no room for envy, jealousy, or selfishness. While I was at Battle Creek last spring, and attended some of the good meetings there, I made up my mind that jealousy should no more have place in my heart. I expected to have a struggle, but the Lord has helped me. I intend to persevere until I gain a perfect victory in the name of the Lord. I am determined to strike at the root of these evils, and in the name of the Lord to destroy them. I will be in harmony with this work, and in union with God’s dear servants, and his faithful people. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. To give up these truths is sure death, and to stand in the way of this cause is destruction. I am fully determined not to be a hindrance to this cause any longer. I do desire the prosperity of this cause, and it shall have the preference to all my worldly or selfish interests. May the Lord help me to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

I feel sorry and ashamed that I have thus injured the precious cause I love and desire to help. I have been blinded, and been feeding on husks to no satisfaction. I will arise and go unto my Father and say, I have sinned against Heaven and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son, make me as one of thy hired servants. I am very thankful that in my efforts to return, the Lord has kindly met me with his Spirit. Oh! if he will only give me some humble place in his vineyard where I can show my love for, and devotion to, his cause, I will try to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I will seek a thorough conversion of heart. I will seek to have

the love of Christ in me, and to love my neighbor as myself. May the Lord have mercy on me, and pardon my sins, and lead me in the way of life and salvation. I am willing to do anything to relieve the cause. May the Lord’s cause prosper in Wisconsin and Illinois. Brethren and sisters, pray for me.

Yours, hoping to overcome at last.

T. M. STEWARD.

Northville, Ill.