The Treatment of Children.
[Bro. Smith: I think the following article is worth the careful reading of every mother. Could it be carefully practiced, how many children would be saved from ruin. D. M. Canright.] A mother, who has felt deeply for those sorrows of children which are caused by the injudicious treatment of parents, submits the following hints to mothers. Most of these rules were written for her own guidance many years ago. After extensive observation, she has thought they might possibly be of benefit to those young mothers who wish to see their children truly pious, and who desire to secure their warmest and tenderest love: 1. I will begin with the Bible as the foundation of all government. Let Bible principles, Bible motives, Bible examples, be held constantly before myself and my children. 2. I will strive to be myself what I wish my children to become. “As is the mother, so is the daughter.” “The mother forms the man.” 3. I will be sure that my instructions and my practice correspond. 4. I will cultivate a serene, cheerful, heavenly spirit, and a dignified demeanor. 5. I will cultivate firmness and decision, with the utmost kindness and gentleness. 6. I will strive to govern myself. Self-control and perfect self-possession are essential to a proper exercise of authority. 7. I will make it my constant prayer and effort so to train my children that I may secure their affection, their respect, and their obedience. 8. I will remember the importance of training well the first child; as the eldest exerts great influence over the younger children. 9. I will remember that the will must be subdued, and habits of obedience formed very early; believing that if I have complete control of the child before five years of age, I shall have little trouble afterward. The first ten years is the forming period. 10. I will insist on habitual, prompt, and cheerful obedience; and that without always giving the reasons. I will allow no pouting, no fretting, no questioning, no reasoning, no disputing, delaying, or answering again. I will train them to believe that I know what is best. 11. I will make but few rules, and be firm in enforcing them, giving no needless commands, but seeing that those given are strictly obeyed. I will never command what I cannot enforce. 12. I will seldom accompany a command with a threat, but have it understood from the first that a penalty must always be expected for disobedience. 13. I will have it understood from the first that my “Yes” or “No” is a decided and final answer. If there is habitually no parleying, there will be no teasing. 14. After deciding a question, I will seldom change; if for some reason it may be necessary, I will be careful to fully explain the reason. 15. I will never tantalize and irritate by indecision, keeping the child in suspense; but if the request is improper, kindly and decidedly refuse at once. The child will submit with ease to an immediate denial; but after expectations have been raised by suspense, it may cause many and bitter tears. 16. I will not govern capriciously, but strive to maintain a steady, uniform, firm, and mild course, so that the child may always understand just what is expected of it. I will never reprove sharply at one time for what at another I would pass over without the slightest notice. If I govern according to my moods and impulses, I shall be sure to act unjustly, and forfeit the respect and alienate the affections of the child. 17. I will be careful not to be more severe for mistakes and accidents and trifling annoyances, than for real evils of character. 18. I will always, unless special reasons suggest otherwise, punish for a willful act of disobedience, and be more displeased and severe for an act of disobedience than for any other offense; for if I secure the obedience of my child, I have the best security against the assaults of sin in every other form. 19. I will remember that careful discretion must be exercised in regard to the mode and severity of punishment. The characters of children are so different that what would be a severe punishment for one would be nothing at all for another. I will never use severity when a firm, gentle word is sufficient; nor punish severely when a light punishment will answer the purpose. Severity leads to concealment, deceit, and falsehood. I will remember that discipline is not necessarily punishment, and that punishment is not always wise discipline. I will strive to make my children love and obey without fear, and keep their affections and sensibilities tender. 20. I will on no account punish in anger. 21. I will never strike a child on the head. 22. I will not pull the hair or ears, or use violence in any way. This treatment enrages the child, and develops the worst passions. 23. I will not deprive a child of its necessary food by way of punishment. I have seen its evil effects, both on the health and the disposition. 24. I will endeavor to make my children feel that a punishment is a serious affair, and cannot often be repeated. When they disobey, or commit an act deserving punishment, I will, if practicable, retire with them privately, and after talking with them seriously, tenderly, and tearfully, of the nature and sin of their offense, and praying with them, I will inflict the punishment. I believe this mode, if commenced early, and persisted in, will seldom fail to soften the heart and insure respect for the parent. When a child can be made to feel that punishment is deserved and justly administered, he will generally be submissive. 25. For a spirited boy I will use the rod, as Solomon directs. For girls and timid children, milder punishments may be sufficient. For small children I consider a little tingling rod more effective, and less injurious, than hard slaps with the hand which bruise the flesh. 26. I will not punish before others when I can avoid it. 27. I will avoid the habit of saying, “Naughty child!” and the like, for every trifling fault. Words of blame should never be used without real cause.