My Sins by E. G. Rust

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Jul 29, 1873

My Sins

By E. G. Rust

For four or five years in the past have separated me from my Heavenly Father, and kept me in a state of doubt and fear, at times almost causing me to make entire shipwreck of my faith. But God in his infinite mercy has preserved me from such a rash step.

For some time previous to attending the late Wisconsin Camp-meeting, I had been trying to humble myself and examine the evidences of our faith in a more thorough manner than I had done before for years. I believed in the perpetuity of spiritual gifts, but had for several years been in great doubt as to the genuineness of sister White’s visions. For three years, I had not cared to attend our camp-meetings; but now began to feel that I should like to join with our people in their approaching meeting, to seek God in earnest. We began to pray God to open the way, which was all hedged up in many ways, and he did so in a remarkable manner, even raising my wife from a bed of sickness in answer to prayer.

While there, listening to the testimonies of God’s servants, I realized more fully than ever the terrible deception and darkness under which I have been. My mind became perfectly clear that this entire work is the Lord’s, as I listened to the most powerful and convincing defense of the Testimonies of sister White that I ever heard, and that direct from the word of God. My eyes were opening. I could scarcely believe that such language could be found in the Bible. But there it was, showing her condition in vision to be precisely the same as those to whom God gave visions anciently. The Spirit of God rested down upon Bro. Butler as he spoke, and the prejudice of that large congregation of unbelievers seemed to vanish away with mine. Oh! could I have heard that sermon years ago, it would have saved me much trial, and I should not have been left to reproach the cause of truth, and to be ashamed of my Master’s cause as I have.

The truth looks more glorious than ever, and I can no longer doubt that the whole of this work is the Lord’s. I will not doubt any longer. Henceforth I will believe. I had courage and faith to believe that if I sought God with true humility of heart, he would not despise my efforts, but would for Christ’s sake forgive my sins and raise me above doubts and discouragements, and this he has done in a measure, for my faith in this work never rested on surer foundations, and the way never seemed clearer or brighter.

We have tried to consecrate ourselves to God with everything we have in this life, and are henceforth resolved, by the help of the Lord, to lead humble, devoted lives to our Master, and place ourselves entirely in his hands, that he may use us to his glory, not shunning, or any longer being ashamed of, the testimonies which God in mercy and love has placed in the church. We are trying to walk in the light of the truth, and carefully live out all the reforms as revealed by the Spirit of God, not forgetting our past mistakes, or to keep low at the foot of the cross, looking forward only a little way from this, when we may be delivered from sin and sorrow, and share in the final triumph of God’s dear, united people. May we have true humility and heavenly wisdom.

E. G. Rust.

Chicago, Ill., 270 Sedgwick St.