Discipline.—The True Method.
The certainty that merited punishment will follow every transgression, is the surest remedy for insubordination. To illustrate; the child approaches too near the fire, or puts his fingers into the blaze of the candle, and he suffers pain in consequence; and every time he thus disobeys the prohibition, he suffers from the penalty. The result is, he soon learns obedience to nature’s law, and keeps at a proper distance from the fire. A slight pain and the positive certainty of suffering it, have accomplished the object. Now let the mother see to it that every time her child disregards her wishes, or disobeys her commands, he will suffer for the wrong, and she will seldom, if ever, have occasion to administer other than the mildest penalties. It is the certainty and not the severity of the punishment which makes it effectual. I call this kind of management mild severity, and commend it to every thoughtful parent. Let it be attended by steadiness, firmness, and decision, and it will accomplish much more than the scolding, and threatening, and flogging, which have been made necessary by parental mismanagement. Another important thought, in this connection. As far as possible, let the punishment be the actual consequence of the fault which has been committed. For instance, suppose the child has never learned to “shut the doors” he has opened, and his mother wishes to correct the habit. She should require him to return and shut the door. For the first offense, detain him five minutes, before he is allowed to return to his play; for the second offense, ten minutes; and so on until the habit is cured. Here, it will be seen, the privation is associated with the fault, and seems naturally to result from it. The child has opportunity for reflection, and a strong motive to correct the habit. Or, suppose the child is allowed a recess from study, say of 30 minutes, but he remains at play 40 minutes, under the prohibition of his mother. Let her punish him by shortening his recess to 20 minutes, for the first offense; 10 minutes, for the second, and allowing him no time for play, for the third; and the next time he is released he will be likely to return promptly. All such punishments are designed to correct and cure the evil, for the future benefit of the child. They may be mild or severe, as the case requires, but should never be vindictive, nor administered in anger. Promptness and firmness are demanded in correcting the faults of children, but harshness and ill-temper, never. Affection and sympathy are also powerful disciplinary agencies, and should always accompany every act of severity or reproof. Let the child understand that every look of disapprobation, every word of rebuke, every penalty inflicted, is prompted by maternal love, and the very fact will tend to subdue and overcome this rebellious spirit. Mutual sympathy between the parent and child is another powerful agency in family discipline. Look at the natural effect of human sympathy, in its material and mental aspects. The gaping of one individual is, through sympathy, imparted to the whole company; cheerfulness and joy, or sorrow and sadness, expressed by any person, carry either happiness or gloom to the hearts of the circle in which he mingles. It is through sympathy that mankind gain control over each other, in the common affairs of life. They cherish the feelings and embrace the opinions of those they love; and if these opinions are changed in maturer years, it is more the result of sympathy than argument. Hence, we can easily understand the power of this principle over childhood. The child is in full sympathy with the true mother; clings to her in the hour of danger, believes and confides in her with unwavering confidence, imitates her actions, treasures up her words, and imbibes her very feelings and emotions. This results partly from the intimate relations they sustain to each other, and partly from judicious training. The degree of the child’s love and confidence for the mother depends upon the amount of sincere sympathy she manifests in his childish hopes and fears, joys and sorrows, recreations and amusements, ideas and fancies. The more childlike the parent, the better qualified she is to manage and guide her household. Hence, the great importance of gaining the confidence and love of our children, and the still greater necessity of being ourselves, in character and life, what we desire our children to become. We have no right to expect that these children will be naturally inclined to do right, rather than wrong. Facts are against such a conclusion. Indeed, accountability presupposes instruction as to what is right and wrong; and when they begin to recognize this distinction, both the good and the bad in their conduct should have our attention. We should not only rebuke and punish the wrong, but commend the right with equal fidelity. And this encouragement of children, when they have done well, is highly important.—Rutland Herald.