Praise versus Censure

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Jan 6, 1874

Praise versus Censure.

The judicious use of praise is a powerful means of gaining the affections of children. An encouraging smile, a gentle pressure of the hand, a word of commendation, will sometimes do wonders in the way of winning young hearts. Captain Basil Hall thus describes the effects produced on board of a ship by the different modes of government adopted by two different commanders. “Whenever,” says he, “one of these officers came on board the ship, his constant habit was to cast his eye about him to discover what might be wrong; to detect the smallest thing that might be out of its place; in a word, to find as many grounds of censure as possible. This constituted, in his judgment, the best preventive of neglect on the part of those under his command, and he acted in this severe way from principle.”

The attention of the other officer, on the contrary, appeared to be directed chiefly to those points which he could approve. This latter Captain would remark to the First Lieutenant, as he walked along: “How white and clean you have the decks to-day. I think you must have been at them all the morning to have got them in such order.” The other, in similar circumstances, but eager to find fault, would say, even if the decks were as white and clean as the drifted snow: “I wish, sir, you would teach these sweepers to clear away that bundle of shakings,” pointing to a bit of rope-yarn, not half an inch long, left under the truck of a gun.

It seemed, in short, as if nothing was more vexatious to one of these officers than to discover things so correct as to afford him no good opportunity for finding fault; while, to the other, the necessity of censuring really appeared to be a punishment to himself. Accordingly, under the one administration we all worked cheerfully, not doubting that every well-meant effort would meet with hearty approbation. But, with the other, our duty being performed in fear, seldom went on in much spirit. We felt no personal satisfaction in doing things right, from the certainty of getting no commendation. What was most singular was that these men were both as kind-hearted as could be, or, if there was any difference, the fault-finder was the better-hearted of the two.

Captain Hall adds: “It requires but little experience of sailors, soldiers, children, servants, or other dependents, to discover that this good humor on our part toward those whom we wish to influence is the best possible coadjutor to our scheme of management, whatever that may be.”

We close by saying to teacher and parent, avoid these three errors—partiality, disregard to the feelings of the young, and a spirit of fault-finding, and practice the opposite virtues, and it will seldom be difficult to secure a favorable reception in school or family for almost anything you may please to propose.