A Confession by George I. Butler

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Feb 25, 1875

A Confession.

By George I. Butler

Having recently received a testimony of reproof concerning certain things in my course, and having taken some time for reflection of late in regard to my labors in the cause during the time of my ministry, and especially since I have been connected with the General Conference, I crave the privilege of making some confession in regard to the same. I would not intrude my personal matters upon the attention of the public had I not feared that my brethren and sisters would misunderstand my true feelings if I did not. I believe the testimonies to be of the Lord. And, however closely they may search me, I mean to receive them and profit by them. My faults have been pointed out in a way to humble and reprove me. I mean this shall work for my good.

The testimony has referred to certain positions I have written out in an article entitled “Leadership,” which has had a certain circulation. In this article, I ascribed to Bro. White the position of a leader in this work, and undertook to define the duties toward him as such of those composing this body, claiming that in “matters of expediency” connected with the cause his “judgment should be given the preference,” &c. But the testimony to me plainly states that my position on this subject is wrong in ascribing to one man such a position. I therefore wish all to understand that I hereby forever renounce the position taken in that article so far as it ascribes to any man, such authority. I accept the teaching of this testimony upon this point unqualifiedly.

The testimony also sets before me very plainly the fact that I am far too slow and hesitating at times, my danger of injuring the cause because of this, and also my duty to reform. This I fully acknowledge. I feel that here is a very great fault in me which must have been noticed by my brethren generally, and which has doubtless caused them great trial, especially those who have been so unfortunate as to be closely connected with me in labor. I feel that this is one great weakness in my character which greatly unfits me for filling important positions. All my life I have had to contend with this, and far too many times I have been overcome by it. Those of a hopeful, believing disposition may not be able to realize the distressing gloom and darkness which at times press upon those who have come from infidelity, as I have, when under the power of temptation. At such times difficulties appear like mountains, impossible to be overcome. But in this I feel that I am without excuse; for Christ has provided ample supplies of grace and strength for every time of need. The fault is with me that I have not learned how to avail myself of these supplies more fully.

I have no doubt but my weakness in this respect has been a great hindrance to my usefulness. For this I ask the forgiveness of my brethren and of God. All I can do further is to promise to strive to overcome this great fault. At times I am filled with sorrow, shame, and almost with despair, as I see how little I have accomplished and how much more I might have done had it not been for this hesitating, halting, undecided spirit, which has grieved my friends and hindered the cause I love. But how to act when I see difficulties to be surmounted, and know not how to do it, has been the question. Others, however, might readily know how to do it. This is one great reason why I have felt that I could not take responsibilities. But much of this arises, doubtless, from the lack of that faith which it is the Christian’s privilege to possess. I feel greatly to regret this, but wish much that I had more hope of being able to overcome this fault in the future.

I also feel it my duty to confess my mistake in regard to the manner of my labor. I think there has not been a sufficient amount of the element of hopefulness and encouragement in my labor, but too much closeness and reining up of the mind, which in some cases has had a tendency to discourage, and make the way of salvation seem hopeless to those I desired to help. This comes of a lack of that love and tenderness which ever characterized our divine Lord. I have felt that there was not enough of this in my heart; but there was too much of the iron element in me personally, so that I did not attract, but rather repulsed with coldness, those I truly wished to help. This I feel is a great fault which I must overcome. Oh! that I had more of that melting tenderness which will ever reach the heart, and cause its tender chords to vibrate. Then could I draw others nearer to my Lord.

I feel further to confess that my judgment has at times been too much influenced by those of my friends in whom I have had great confidence; so that in some instances I have been led to wrong conclusions and a wrong course of action, which has proved an injury to the cause. This I greatly regret. I am determined from this time onward to be satisfied in my own judgment concerning any proposed action I am expected to take before entering upon it. In the words of the testimony, “Independent men of earnest endeavor are needed.” “Individual independence and individual power is what is now needed.” So I believe; and I am determined as never before to labor to be such a man, to overcome the weak and hesitating traits of my character, and to learn to take responsibilities and bear them cheerfully. I have certainly had an experience in the failures I have made on this point which should teach me a valuable lesson.

I feel also that in raising means at our general gatherings, the matter has been carried on too indiscriminately; so that some in poor circumstances have been led to do too much. For one I can say, I have not designed that such should be the case, but yet I admit that it has proved so. So far as any responsibility attaches to me upon this point, I wish to confess it, and do what I can to correct the evil. I am in favor of such cases being hunted up, and their being released from their pledges so far as it can be done, and where it cannot of finding those in easier circumstances to take these pledges off the hands of their poorer brethren.

I might go on and mention other minor points where I have been found wanting. In Battle Creek this is especially true. The last few years have been very busy and full of much perplexity, and I have greatly failed in many things. I feel that it becomes me to labor in a less responsible position, and under other circumstances, in which I hope I may be able, through God’s grace, to improve upon these points, and be more worthy the confidence of our people. I cannot hope to do this in a moment. I feel that I greatly lack in the great principles of faith and love. I must change my manner of labor in some directions. At times, within the last few months, I have almost sunk into utter discouragement. But since taking time to consider and meditate, I have determined to strive for the victory over myself and my great foe. Give me your forgiveness and your prayers, brethren and sisters, and let me have a favorable chance to labor, and I promise to try to overcome all my deficiencies.

GEO. I. BUTLER.