TOO SEVERE by Guardian

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Jun 14, 1877

TOO SEVERE.

By Guardian

While the management of children in some families is unwisely kind, in others it is severe and inconsiderate. The parent becomes a hard master, a sharp censor; and an arbitrary, exacting spirit crushes out much of the good in the children. The youthful and helpless victims of such treatment become discouraged, and sink into an aimless and care-nothing course of life, or are driven to willful, wayward conduct, which results in disgrace and frequent ruin.

There are parents so unreasonable as to expect perfection of their children. Not theoretically, for if called upon for an expression of their sentiments they would talk as sensibly as the wisest of the natural tendency of the human heart to go astray; but yet they expect their little ones always to do right, and when disappointed, proceed to reprove and discipline without a tempering of mercy or tolerance. Though conscious of their own imperfections, they yet presume to find their little ones faultless, and make no allowance for ignorance, immaturity, or natural failings. Have we not seen such?—parents who show a harsh, vindictive spirit, and yet wonder at the quarrelsome disposition of their children, and severely punish them for it; who are selfish, and can find no words sufficiently strong to condemn selfishness in their little ones; who are untruthful, and yet look for unfailing veracity in their boys and girls?

They are like the unmerciful servant in the parable, who was dealt with very leniently by the lord to whom he was greatly indebted, but who showed no compassion to his fellow-servant who owed himself not a hundredth part of the amount. It is sad to see parents with glaring faults of character dealing sharply with the faults of children, which are but a reproduction of their own, or the natural result of ignorance or immaturity. Many children, we believe, are spoiled through such inconsistency. Many who go down apparently through their own headstrong disposition, when the secrets of all hearts and lives shall be revealed, will be found to have been driven to ruin by those who should have gently turned their feet into the ways of wisdom. “Whoso shall offend one of these little ones,” says Jesus, “it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of the sea.”

Parents need indeed the grace of long-suffering. How careful should we be not to injure the tender plants committed to our care. And more especially is this true of foster-parents, and the self-constituted guardians of orphaned, friendless children. Children are received into the family for care and nurture, and though it is well understood that early surroundings have not been favorable to correct moral training, when they are detected in falsehood or pilfering, or in any mean or vicious practices, disgust and dislike too often arise, and the children are returned with a bad name. A tender, considerate, forbearing spirit would, on the other hand, lead to careful instruction, prayerful watching, and repeated trials; and in all probability with most happy results; for many children of this class sin through ignorance, their moral sense having never been cultivated. If we would do our whole duty to our own children, or to the little strangers that are within our gates, we must lay the foundation with faithful instruction, and then with patience watch the growth of character, forbearing and forgiving, even as we expect God for Christ’s sake to bear with and forgive us.—Guardian.