No one knows better than John B. Gough how to use the reductio ad absurdum, or how to handle a bit of humor that, like the stocking the Irishman was swinging at Donnybrook Fair, had a rock in it. The following from his lecture, “The Foes we Fight,” is a straight shot:— An LL. D. (and I am very sorry to say he is a Massachusetts LL. D.) was dining at the table of a lady who never furnishes wine, no matter who is her guest, at whose house General Grant spent nearly two days, during which time not one drop of wine, ale, or spirits, would she present to him or his staff; and when the British nobility are sometimes entertained by her, they inquire, “Can you entertain Lord So-and-so?” when she replies, “Yes, but he must know beforehand that no wine, ale, nor spirits are offered in my house.” This gentleman was at her dinner-table, and he said, “Now I think I cannot understand your position in reference to this matter, Mrs. So-and-so. Now I enjoy a glass of wine at my dinner; it is my habit to use it. You say to me, ‘Doctor, I shall give you no wine because So-and-so makes bad use of it.’ Here is one person cannot drink with impunity, and here is another who makes a fool of himself. By and by you will take from us all our luxuries. I enjoy cheese. I like it with a cup of coffee and a cracker; it promotes digestion. Would you say, ‘Doctor, here is a man cannot eat cheese with impunity, and I shall give you no cheese?’ Is that a fair way of putting it? Did you ever hear a man standing on the gallows-tree saying to those who came to witness his execution: ‘Now, my friends, take warning by me; never eat any cheese’? Did you ever hear of a man murdering his wife, and giving as a reason, or as an excuse, that he had been eating cheese? Did you ever hear of a row in the streets where a man was murdered, or several ribs were broken, of which the papers said: ‘Those men have been eating freely of cheese’? Now, just show to me that cheese produces eight-tenths of the crime, seven-eighths the pauperism, and half the lunacy; show to me that cheese produces the result that drink does, and by the grace of God I will battle the cheese while I live.—Christian at Work