LOVE VS. WRANGLING by H. F. Phelps

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Dec 6, 1877

LOVE VS. WRANGLING.

By H. F. Phelps

Love is spoken of in the Bible as one of the fruits of the Spirit. Love is the ruling principle of God’s government. It was love that led God to make and to redeem the world; and all who expect a place with God’s people should cultivate this grace. But why is it so frequently lost sight of? Why does it so rarely appear on the surface? How can we measure a man’s love except by his actions? A man says, I love the brethren, I love my wife and children, or I love God; and yet if I see no outward manifestations of that love, what shall I conclude? There are very many to-day who say, I love God, but who will not obey him. Can I believe a man loves God who will not take part in his worship? Actions surely flow from a full heart; and if a man say, I love my brother, shall I not look for some token of that love? We read, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” We know a man loves himself, because we see him very watchful of his own interests.

Again we read, “He that loveth not his brother, whom he hath seen, how can he love God, whom he hath not seen?” Now I may tell people that I love my brother, that I have no ill-will in my heart, and then appear cold and even uncourteous toward him. If he has faults (and who has not?), I may magnify them. I may even do this, and pass for a Christian among men. And yet I very much fear all will not believe me: some will look for conduct to correspond with my professions. And God will look on my heart, and will judge me at last by my actions, and not by my words. So if I love my brother, I will show that love.

But whence come wrangling and discord among brethren? Whence come these family jars? Whence come strife and contention? These evils do not exist because we desire to be hard-hearted, nor because we love to do wrong; but they come from a lack of this one, crowning Christian grace. I believe the place to cultivate this grace is in the family circle, and then it will flow out toward all around, and love to the brethren will be a sure result. Upon you and me, my brother, rests a great responsibility in this matter. Do we desire to take our families with us to the kingdom of God? Then, as priest of the household, we should lead them gently, softly, kindly, tenderly. Do you complain that your children have grown out from under your influence? Then call them back by love. Put your arms around them. Be careful of those boys growing up. They will soon be out of your reach. Bind them to you by cords of love. It will not hurt you to kiss them good-night or good-by, and they will be sure to kiss you a welcome in return.

And that wife burdened with cares, trials, and discouragements. All her anxieties and labors for your comfort are taken as a matter of duty, and you often censure when you should commend. God ordained that man and wife should be one, and that they should be happy with each other as long as life should last; but with too many, indeed the majority, the “honeymoon” lasts less than six months. I believe it should last a lifetime. In the family, Satan begins his work; and if he succeeds here, he is sure to carry his cruel work into the church of God. But here we can raise a defense against him; and as we cultivate love, bending our stiff necks, and humbling our proud hearts, angels of God will draw near to assist us, and we shall be drawn a little nearer Heaven.

H. F. PHELPS.