Laying the Foundation by Mary A. Allen, M. D.

International Tract and Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Dec 3, 1885

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 11, No. 46.

Laying the Foundation.

By Mary A. Allen, M. D.

THE first education of the child should be wholly objective. Through eye, and ear, and touch, it is being overwhelmed with knowledge. Do not be in a hurry to push it into the world of books. Let it be a student of natural things, and let your teachings be to increase its power of observation. When the little girl begins to go to school, say at seven or eight years of age, let it be understood by teachers that she is not to be crowded, but is to learn a few things thoroughly, and those of a practical character. Much teaching, of things not important to be remembered, is done, and the powers of the child put to a wrong use. The little school children of to-day live in a continual fever. There is upon them a constant strain, which is very wearing to nerve fiber. The fear of being tardy keeps a sensitive child in a fret from the time of rising until school is reached. I often see the tiny creatures running in great haste to reach the school-house before the bell shall cease ringing, and they must come to their morning's work with nerves exhausted, hearts beating unduly, and brains already worn by the anxiety of the morning. See to it, mothers, that your children start to school in time to walk there quietly, and that they leave home in a cheerful frame of mind, with your loving smile, and good-bye kiss, to give them a happy start on the day.

Some teachers, unfortunately, have a manner in school far from beneficial to their pupils. I know teachers who have good reputations as instructors of children, who do not refrain from calling the attention of the school to some trifling error in the conduct or work of a sensitive girl, who will hear in her heart for days the wound thus caused. I have known teachers to make such remarks as these, concerning a conscientious child, who had worked diligently and faithfully, but who had failed to have a perfect lesson, perhaps from a failure of the teacher to make plain some point or rule: "What do you think, scholars, of a girl who cannot get three examples out of five? Don't you think she is rather lazy?" Or, "See Jennie"—aged eight—"she spells technical with a k, and Popocatepetl with two capitals. Wouldn't you think she'd be ashamed?" Brutal teachers are not as common now as in years past; but they have a cruelty no less painful because more refined.

Parents are not altogether free from blame in wounding the self-respect of their children, and everything which wounds the self-respect lessens it, and weakens the desire to be better. Mothers ought to bear particularly in mind the fact that, if they wish strong, capable grown-up daughters, they should not put upon them the burden of sex too young. "Little girls should not play in that way, that is boy's play," is too often the household maxim of duty; and many an active girl, not ten years old, sighs over her restricted freedom, and longs for the liberty of boyhood, from which she is shut out by reason of her sex, and yet in her consciousness she has no knowledge of sex. She loves to play, to run, to climb, to jump, to coast, to slide, as well as her brother. Has the Creator made a mistake in giving her these desires?

"Boys have so much freer life than girls," said a little eight-year-old, when her brother put on his rubber boots and overcoat to go out and have a vigorous tussle with the storm. The combative wind would have tossed her hair, and pelted the roses into her cheeks, and swept, with its load of oxygen, through her lungs, but she was told that it was not ladylike to go out in a storm. She must be good and play with her dolls, while she, poor child, cared nothing for dolls; she wanted live companions, "with brains," as she said.

Would you, then, have girls rough, rude, and uncouth as boys? I would not have boys rude and uncouth. I would have the same standard of conduct for both, the same motives held up for right action. An action is wrong or right, it is polite or impolite, it is kind or ungenerous, it is truthful or dishonorable, it is brave or cowardly. These motives are sufficient to guide the lives of both boys and girls. "It is unladylike" means that it is impolite, and that is equally ungentlemanly. Boys and girls should have put before them the highest motives for right doing, and this will result in making them ladies and gentlemen in the truest sense. Boys are often allowed to be unkind and overbearing, because it is supposed to be of less importance that they should develop such traits than that girls should manifest them. The truth is that boys should be more subject to the restraints of true politeness, while girls should have less of the restraints of false ideas of impropriety. Do not be afraid that the girl who loves to jump and play in childhood will, of necessity, be coarse and rude in more mature life. The sweetest, most truly feminine women I have known have confessed to being great romps in childhood. A happy, free, and natural childhood, guarded and guided by the wisdom which sees far into the future, and prepares for it, must result in a healthful, vigorous, and efficient womanhood.—Mary A. Allen, M. D., in Congregationalist.