Your ShelfYour Projects

THE MYSTERIOUS BEING

4%

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Jun 20, 1878

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 51, No. 25.

Read the full edition

THE MYSTERIOUS BEING.

A Pointed Lesson for the Old as well as the Young.

ONE of the best writers in America gives the following good picture of a popular old lady:—
How different people appear at different times, as when we are sick or well, rejoicing or mourning, laughing or weeping. A few days since I met an old lady who nodded very familiarly to me, and yet I hesitated to call her name, lest I should miscall it. She looked old and yet young, soft and smiling, and yet wore stern frowns. She was fair in face, yet her hands were iron. It seemed as if the wind would blow her away, and yet she moved with the strength of an elephant.
“Why, sir,” said she, “you seem to stare at me, though you have seen me a thousand times before.”
“That may be, madam; but I never saw you loaded down with all sorts of things. I am curious to know about them. Would it be rude to ask you a few questions?”
“Not at all. Ask away.”
“Well, what are you going to do with those small, thin, ladies’ shoes?”
“Why, make the ladies wear them, to be sure.”
“Not in the cold, wet season? Why I can hardly keep my feet warm in these thick, double-soled boots. I must have over-shoes. How can they wear such thin, cold-catching shoes?”
“Oh, sir, I have only to bring them to them, and the dear creatures put them on, and never hesitate a moment. They know me!”
“And those little half-dresses hanging on your arm?”
“They are to put on little children in cold weather, or to walk out in;—naked at the knees, naked at the neck, and hardly covering half the body. You can’t think how eager parents are for these dresses.”
“What have you in that little tin box?”
“Lozenges, sir; troches, hoarhound candy—things that always go with thin shoes and thin dresses. And this bright red box, sir, contains what is called conscience salve, which I always keep on hand to rub on the conscience when any one sees he has done wrong in obeying me. It’s in great demand, sir, and a certain cure.”
“What have you in that bundle, madam?”
“This? Why a few knick-knacks, which I sometimes distribute in Sabbath-schools, in the shape of dialogues, speeches,—things to make people laugh and to prevent the schools from feeling too serious, or thinking too much about religion. You must understand, sir, that I continually have to attend church to regulate things there, to see that the bonnets are right, the rings are bright, and the dresses complete; yet religion itself I hate as poison! And here is a box of the finest—what shall I call it? It is a sort of wit and smartness which I deal out to preachers, with which they spice their sermons and become popular. I sell them by the gross. They are growing in demand, and they are a real saving of conscience and headache. Warranted to keep in all climates—a kind of sensation powder.”
“Pray, madam, what are those screws for?”
“Why to pinch the feet and make them look small, without regard to corns or bunions. They can’t wear those dear little shoes except you have pinchers to go with them.”
“And that great heap of books in your arms?”
“Those? They are the latest, most exciting, weak, and silly novels. But I hand them out, and shake my head with a smile, and crowds read them.”
“Well, madam, I am very inquisitive, I know, but I do want to know what you have in that great bag thrown over your shoulder?”
“A great variety of valuables, such as ‘late suppers,’ in great demand, and which send people to the grave early, and thus make room for more. Here are ‘late hours,’ and ‘late rising,’ and all manner of hair-dressing and expensive dressing, things that ladies must have, even if their husbands fail. Here are diamond pins and rings, just the things to stir up envy and create extravagance. Here are cigars, meerschaum pipes, gold watches, gold-headed canes, eye-glasses, and all manner of things to suit all kinds of people. And I laugh and coax, and frown, and command, till I get them to wear and use them, and do just what I please. Now, I have stopped to talk with you a few moments; don’t you see what a crowd have gathered round me?—low necks, thin shoes, muslin dresses, tight boots; some on crutches, some coughing, some breathing short, all crowding to get near me; and when I move you will see how they all run and rush and crowd after me. Oh, sir, I am the great power of the world. I rule kings and queens, beggars and philosophers. Don’t you see?”
“Truly, madam, truly. And now may I ask you your name?”
“Name? Fashion, sir; my name is Mrs. Prevailing Fashion! I thought everybody knew me.”
We wonder if any of our readers patronize this Mrs. Prevailing Fashion? She travels extensively, is found in every city and village in the land, and does not hesitate to visit the rural districts. She is highly esteemed in fashionable circles, and is therefore an abomination in the sight of the Lord. Do not patronize her; do not even admit her into your houses; she is a dangerous tramp of world-wide reputation, acquainted with every nation, kindred and tongue, and familiar with the ways of public and private life of every grade and order. Her business is to ruin health, squander your money, ruin families and churches, people the regions of despair with myriads of unhappy and eternally lost beings.—Selected.