Making Men of Boys by Eben E. Rexford

S. D. A. Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Sep 7, 1882

FromThe Signs of the Times, Vol. 8, No. 34; Special Edition, No. 1

Making Men of Boys.

By Eben E. Rexford

It should not be expected that a boy will become a man, and be able to do a man’s work well, without receiving a good deal of instruction from those to whom he has naturally a right to look for advice. But a great many farmers who are very particular about how their work is done seem to think that a boy ought to know instinctively how work had ought to be performed. They have forgotten that they had to learn how to do things. To plow a field as it ought to be plowed may seem a very simple thing to a man who has done that kind of work for years, until he has become so familiar with it that he has to give it no special thought; but the novice finds many things to learn. He may have seen it done, but when he comes to try to do it himself, he finds that seeing a thing done is one thing, and doing it well is another. Now the man who is wise will not scold and find fault with a boy for a failure of this kind, but he will exercise the grand virtue of patience, and explain to him wherein he failed. He will not treat the boy as if he were a man, or ought to know how to do such things as well as a man who has had experience, but he will make a pupil of him, and lead him in, step by step, until he has overcome each difficulty. By taking pains to explain things to him he will arouse an interest in the work, and the boy will be anxious for further knowledge.

Last summer I was on a farm where a man was hoeing potatoes. While I stood there talking with him, his boy came into the field with his hoe. It seems he had never tried his hand at hoeing and “billing up” potatoes, and he made poor work of it. Instead of showing him how it should be done, his father began finding fault, and finally ordered the boy to go to work at something else.

“Why didn’t you show him how you wanted it done?” I asked.

“Hadn’t the boy eyes?” asked the man. “If he can’t get the knack of hilling potatoes when he sees it done right before him, what’s the use of trying to learn him?”

Now I differed with him there. There may not be much of a “knack” in hilling potatoes, but it evidently puzzled the lad, and a few hints, given kindly, would have helped him out of the difficulty, and the lesson would have been learned for all time to come. The man could have told him why he hilled them, and explained the different methods of culture, and the boy’s interest would have been aroused.

Farmers fail, as a general thing, to take the boys into their confidence sufficiently about the work to be done on the farm. They go ahead and plan, and all the boys are expected to do is to execute. It seems to me that the best way to get along with boys, if you want them to do their best on the farm, or anywhere else, is to get them interested in what they are doing. This you cannot do if they feel that they are not considered of sufficient importance to be taken into your confidence. If you talk with them about the work to be done as you would with men, your boys will begin to feel that you consider them as little men, and they will act like little men in nine cases out of ten, and surprise you by entering into the spirit of the work in hand with as much interest as you do. The way to make men of boys is to treat them as you would a man, in many ways. Show them that you do not hold their opinions in contempt. Encourage them to act and think for themselves, and let them feel that you trust them. It gives a boy a very manly feeling to know that a grown-up man considers his opinion worth something, and has faith in his ability to act without constant supervision. Put a responsibility on a boy’s shoulders and he will be proud of it, and generally do himself credit in the way he carries it.

And when your boy has earned something, don’t put it all in your pocket, and none in his. Let him have spending money. You can advise him how to use it, but don’t make him feel that all his work has been for some one else, and that he is to earn, but not spend. Talk with him about using money foolishly and sensibly, and show him wherein he can lay out his spending-money to advantage, and he will not be likely to squander a great deal of it.

He will doubtless make some foolish ventures—he would be a peculiar boy if he did not—but these will quite likely be useful lessons to him. A boy can see wherein he does a foolish thing as well as a man can, and he generally profits by his mistakes. I have great faith in the boys. Treat them like men and they will not disappoint you in growing up to be men.—Eben E. Rexford, in Christian Union.