Mrs. Higginbottom, as a first step, visited her husband's favorite concert saloon under the protection of a disguise and a detective officer. When she had learned what were the attractions which most powerfully appealed to Mr. Higginbottom's mind, she proceeded to reproduce them, as far as practicable, in her own house. She had the parlor carpet taken up, and the bare floor nicely sprinkled with beer and stumps of cigars. She removed the pictures from the walls, and hung in their places cheap and gaudy chromos representing impossible young women in undesirable costumes. Two dirty wooden tables and a supply of wooden chairs from the kitchen completed the furniture of the room, and it began to assume a really attractive appearance. Before the hour of her husband's return from his business, Mrs. Higginbottom hired a man to play on an accordion, and another to torture a violin, besides three professional drunkards of great indecency of appearance and conduct, and a notorious burglar kindly furnished for the occasion by the police captain of the precinct. There were in the kitchen two Irish girls who were decidedly ugly, but who were clean, decent, and modest girls. These two she instructed in the art of serving beer and spirits, and dressed them in costumes that were extremely vulgar, though they could not be said to be improper. Having thus arranged all things, she met her husband at the door, and escorted him to the dining-room, where he ate his dinner, unconscious of the transformation that had been wrought in his front parlor. After dinner Mr. Higginbottom lit his cigar and remarked that he must go out an hour or two to see a friend. His wife, with a sweet smile, told him he need not go out, for she had finally discovered how to make home attractive to him. So saying she showed him into the parlor, and led him to a seat at one of the dirty tables. The fiddler and the accordion player immediately struck up; the drunkards, at a sign from Mrs. Higginbottom, began to swear and wrangle; and the burglar sidled up to Mr. Higginbottom and asked him to drink. The two Irish girls brought beer and spilled it on Mr. Higginbottom's table; they called him "dear," and asked him to "open a bottle of wine," and Mrs. Higginbottom, apologizing for the fact that they were undeniably decent girls, assured her husband that nevertheless she was confident that she had finally learned how to make home attractive; that she hoped to spend many jolly evenings with him, and would like a hot whisky without further delay. Mr. Higginbottom was at first completely dazed, but in a few moments he recovered his reason. He ordered the girls to go into the kitchen and stay there, and he pitched the drunkards out of the front door into the street, and ordered the musicians and the burglar to follow them. Then he informed his wife that he had been an idiot of the largest size; and that if she would restore the parlor to its former condition, he would stay at home, and make no further complaint of its want of attractiveness.—Sel.