Home and Choice of a Wife by Mrs. Helen H. S. Thompson

International Tract and Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Oct 2, 1884

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 10, No. 37.

Home and Choice of a Wife.

By Mrs. Helen H. S. Thompson

"Home—the dearest spot on earth." "A man is always nearest to good at home, and farthest from it when away."—Holland. "If thou art to have a wife of thy youth, she is now living on the earth; therefore think of her, and pray for her, though thou hast not seen her!" "Seek a good wife of thy God, for she is the best gift of his Providence. "Suffer not trifles to win thy love, for a wife is thine unto death."—Tupper.

I HAD been reading Dr. Holland's inimitable chapter on Home to some of my young friends, and one very earnest, thoughtful face was turned toward mine, as I closed the book. "Do you know," said he, "that I believe we have the best home and mother in the world? I wonder—" "What, Charley?"

"If I shall ever have as good a wife?"

"It is not impossible, Charley," I replied, "but such wives and mothers are rare. You must do your best to deserve them, and prepare for such a home and wife. They will come in time if you do your part well."

"I believe we boys have always felt home to be the best place, thanks to the taste, thoughtful love, and consideration for our feelings, that father and mother have always shown us; but I never realized it fully, until I went home with a college friend. Such a home! The house is large enough, and has more furniture in it than ours, but it seems a place merely to eat and sleep in after all. My friend's room was bare of a comfort or a pretty thing. Mother thinks boys are so rough and horrid, that it doesn't pay to fix up our berth. Boys aren't good for much anyhow. It takes the girls to get the nice fixin's," he explained to me.

"It doesn't at our house. We fare as well as our sisters every time. I tell you what," continued Charley, "Mother has always treated us as though we were gentlemen, since we were knee high, and it's going to make gentlemen of us. Why we wouldn't disappoint her for the world!"

How much there is in that! thought I. If parents would only treat their children with as much courtesy as they show their guests, there would be far less occasion to reprove for vulgarity, rudeness, and disorder. Give a boy a room with as many comforts and tasteful arrangements as you can possibly muster, and he will be a strange boy indeed, if he does not reward you fourfold. If there is anything in this world that serves as a beacon-light, compass, and rudder, across the dangerous sea of life, it is the memory of a good and gentle mother—a well-regulated and happy home. Its influence will gird a young man with moral safety as a bulwark, and for the want of these precious home associations, many a young man has made a wreck of his manhood.

Surely, then, a young man's highest ambition should be the establishment and maintenance of such a home, which shall be the reservoir of his best life, and a perennial fountain of joy.

But let me say to the young man whose eyes shall glance over this page, your home will depend largely upon what you are yourself. You have no right to expect your home to be better and happier than you are. If you are good, generous, and genial, your home will partake largely of yourself; so, likewise, if you are selfish, crabbed, and disagreeable.

The structure and choosing of the home that is to be, is the most momentous step a man is ever called to take. You should carry with you into it every influence that has been ennobling and delightful in your childhood's home, and improve upon it all you can besides. Of course you cannot make this home alone, and she who is to help you rear the temple, should not be chosen for trifles, since she is to be prime mover and keeper thereof. See, then, that there is adaptation and fitness, a sweet temper and fervent love. Then consecrate your life to her and home. Bring into this vestibule of love a deep unselfishness, and a purity like crystal. A young man ought to scorn to bring to his wife a heart that has flirted with a dozen girls, or a body impure from evil thoughts and practices. Think not lightly of these things. There is a solemn grandeur in the path before you. The soil is rich in possibilities; but as you sow you will reap—rarest flowers or pestilential weeds.

Novel as the idea may seem, believe me you will best attain a manhood fit to offer a pure-souled woman, by cherishing in your breast, through all the years of youth, an ideal wife. "I know all about that 'child wife'—my ideal wife," said Charley, in response to this spoken thought. "She has grown up beside me. I shall never marry till I find her, but I am sure she lives, as perfect as my dream. For her I have studied, worked, and planned, and daily prayed for her weal. By her, I have guided my habits and principles, and if ever tempted into anything wicked, vulgar, or impure, have blushed lest she should see or feel it! You cannot think what a safeguard it has been, Auntie," said he with real emotion.

"God bless you, Charley, and help you to find her," I replied, with an overflowing heart.

"I'm sure he will," was answered, reverently.

What do you think of that, boys? Somewhere upon the earth his wife to be is living. Would not you, too, do well to think much of her, plan and labor for her, and mould your lives into purity and excellence for her sake? Might not you, too, find it a safeguard against temptation, and a powerful stimulus to attain all that is worthy and complete in a perfect manhood?

Remember that the influence of a noble woman is heavenly, and can draw you heavenward; and home as it should be is only a faint type of that celestial land where every pure affection is cemented for eternity.—Mrs. Helen H. S. Thompson.