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NOT AS I WILL

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Pacific Press Publishing Company · Oakland, California · Oct 29, 1894

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 20, No. 51.

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NOT AS I WILL.

By Helen Hunt Jackson

BLINDFOLDED and alone I stand, With unknown thresholds on each hand; The darkness deepens as I grope, Afraid to fear, afraid to hope; Yet this one thing I learn to know Each day more surely as I go, That doors are opened, ways are made, Burdens are lifted or are laid, By some great law, unseen and still, Unfathomed purpose to fulfill, “Not as I will.”
Blindfolded and alone I wait; Loss seems too bitter, gain too late, Too heavy burdens in the load, And too few helpers on the road; And joy is weak, and grief is strong, And years and days so long, so long; Yet this one thing I learn to know Each day more surely as I go, That I am glad that good and ill By changeless law are ordered still, “Not as I will.”
“Not as I will!”—the sound grows sweet Each time my lips the words repeat. “Not as I will!”—the darkness feels More safe than light when this thought steals Like whispered voice to calm and bless All unrest and all loneliness. “Not as I will!”—because the One Who loved us first and best has gone Before us on the road, and still For us must all his love fulfill, “Not as I will.”
—Helen Hunt Jackson.