The Mother as a Companion to Her Children
By Mrs. M. C. Du Bois
NOT long ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a mother who has a model family, consisting of three children. She is a plain little woman, but all who go to her home are delighted with her well-behaved family. The secret of their being model children lies in the conduct of the mother. She has given herself, her energies, to her children. She makes herself a friend, a social companion, to them. She is a good housekeeper in every detail; but she has the faculty of turning work into pleasure, in which her children are ever ready to engage. Her boys are nearing the threshold of manhood; but she has so bound them to her that they find pleasure in her company. She has no trouble in holding her children by her side, or in keeping their confidence. What is the trouble in the majority of homes? — I think it is that mothers are not doing all they can to be companionable with their boys and girls. Many children, even before they enter their teens, are allowed to go where they please and with whom they please. This ought not to be. If mothers would enter more into the amusements of their children, they would find less trouble in keeping them at home until the time comes for them to go out to act their part in the world. Some mother may say she has something to do besides playing with her children. To such I reply, You can at least smile and be cheerful. It takes no more time to speak a kind word than it does to speak a cross one. Mothers often build strong barriers between themselves and their sons and daughters by their apparent lack of interest in that which interests them. Why not interest your little daughter in playing "visitor," or "keeping house," or something of the kind? If your little boy rides to your door astride his wooden horse, why not spend a moment in entertaining him as if he were real company? Or if he comes as a book agent, why not buy a book, and make him happy? You say, "I am too busy; I can not bother." But it would not take much of your precious time, and these tender little acts are cords that will bind your children to you. If you are always so busy that you can not find time to be social with your children, they will soon look elsewhere for companionship, and you will be left out of their confidence. Many mothers are faithful in caring for the temporal wants of their children; they consume the midnight hours and midnight oil in trimming dainty garments. They cook unwholesome food to set before their family. They keep the home so neat and orderly that it becomes a prison, for the child is bound and held by rules so strict that he hardly dares move for fear of being reprimanded. Such a mother is making a sad mistake. I believe in keeping the house neat and tidy, but not in going to extremes. The home should be bright, cheerful, airy. Plain food, and warm, healthful garments should be supplied, such as do not call for midnight oil. Let the children help. A knowledge of housework is not all that our girls need to be taught, but it should form an important branch of the education of both boys and girls. If mothers would teach their boys and girls to be helpful in domestic labor as well as in other branches of usefulness, they would have more time to give to the society of their children, more time to bind them to their hearts by cords of love; but far too many mothers do not like to spend time in teaching their children the art of being helpful in the home. Every mother should interest herself in the happiness of her children. She should encourage them to confide their plans and open their heart’s desires to her. She should never betray any little secret her boy or girl may tell her. As the young people advance in years, their hearts will be stirred with a love that mother has not called forth, a love different from the love they feel for her. This is a critical period in the life of that boy or girl; and, mother, do not chide your child because of it, but with a prayer in your heart for wisdom from God, wisely and tenderly lead that child to confide fully in you. If you see one has chosen unwisely, deal kindly still; in love endeavor to show the danger. If, on the other hand, one is of suitable age to enter the marriage relation, and you approve of the choice, give your child your blessing. It is better to be social and chatty with the boys and girls than it is to be sharp, cold, and unloving. Be firm, but not harsh. Love wins the stubborn and wayward. Make yourself a friend, a loving companion, to your child.