3741 — The Matter of Divorce
By Editor
Is it right for Christians to get divorced, if either party has not committed adultery — just to get divorced because they do not agree on everything? And after such persons get a divorce, has either one a right to marry some one else? And would it be right, if they get divorced, to marry each other again after they have become reconciled? No Christian should get a divorce on any such grounds as that at all. We can understand how it is possible for people to get so selfish over some of the little things of life that those things fill their whole horizon. Each one is determined to have his or her way; and constant irritations and constant differences add fuel to the fire, until life seems unbearable, and a thing which began so small at first, gets to be a mountain at last, and hearts are separated and lives are separated, and the divorce court is the next thing. One of the great causes of this is that when the individuals themselves get married they do it for purely selfish purposes, the man to get a woman that just pleases him, and that will do just as he wants, and the wife to get a husband to support her, and so she can have an easy time of it, and who will respond to her whims. Such motives are wholly selfish. In the true married life there ought to be, of course, a standing for principle. The husband should not ask his wife to violate conscience in anything that he desires, nor should the wife ask the husband to do it. Conscientious convictions and scruples should be respected. If they can not agree concerning these things, they can agree to disagree. There is a general feeling on the part of every true husband and wife that the husband should stand at the head of the home, the responsible one to the world outside, the protector of his wife, the father of his children, one whose position in that respect should be respected. The wife is the head of the household within, and her wishes should be respected. She should not be considered a slave or a plaything, or one who is there simply and wholly for a husband's benefit; but he should render to her the same respect and deference in the home that he would expect as husband and the head of the family. She should have funds sufficient for her needs, just as he does for his. There should be agreement concerning this, and a proper division of income, counsel over matters concerning the home life, so that money could be expended in the best way. The wife should not have to belittle herself to go to her husband and plead for a few cents, or a dollar or so, or something of that kind, just as if she were a mere child or galley-slave. In matters of difference, each one should be willing to yield his or her own wishes, if it did not compromise conscience, or in his or her judgment seriously affect the family or themselves. A sensible Christian heart would find ways and means of passing over these little differences; and if they could not settle them in genial, kindly conversation, they would better seek the Lord over them — seek God together, and seek Him separately; try always to excuse the other, and be willing to confess faults, and differences could be healed. We believe that such differences as these should never be ground for divorce. It is a shame that Christians should permit them to be. Secondly, we believe that it would be a perfectly proper thing for those who have been divorced from such causes, to get reconciled and married again, if they have not been married to others in the meantime. The Lord tells us that when a wife has gone from her husband and married another, she may not come back to the first husband and marry him, because such things beget shame and confusion. We hope that this is plain to our correspondent. It seems to us that the way outlined is the only true, logical, Christian, human way.