HINTS ON TEACHING OBEDIENCE.
By Prof. G. H. Bell
OBEDIENCE implies more than mere submission. To obey truly is to comply cheerfully with the wishes of those who have a right to command. Real obedience springs from love and respect. A forced compliance may sometimes be necessary, but it is not obedience in the best sense,—not the obedience which the Bible contemplates. Before the child can truly obey, he must see that the parent is far wiser than he, and that every requirement is made in love. This demands time and patience. How slow we ourselves are, as men and women, to learn the same great lesson with respect to our Heavenly Parent! From this we should learn forbearance. In order to lay the foundation of proper obedience, we should cultivate in ourselves a purely unselfish character,—one that is uniformly kind and considerate. Children will soon learn to admire and honor such a character, and to have faith in a love thus manifested. True, the child does not in every respect inherit the nature of angels, and will at times show anger and insolence that must be stoutly resisted; but it is better to wait till his anger cools before crowding him to an issue. We should remember how God deals with us. Injudicious praise and overindulgence will puff up the child in his own estimation and cause him to show disrespect to others. It is not possible to teach such a child obedience until these wrong tendencies have been corrected. The too common practice of making the little one a plaything for the family, is very pernicious. Amuse it, but do not seek to make it an object of amusement to you, further than its own quiet happiness can give you enjoyment. Do not teach it to show off its smart tricks before company. Such a course will destroy that modest, retiring spirit which is the charm of childhood as well as of womanhood. A great writer has compared this process to rubbing the delicate bloom from grapes or plums; when once removed, it will never return. It gives the child a haughty spirit, making him feel that others ought to yield to his wishes, not he to theirs. By all means avoid positive commands till the child can fully understand that he ought to obey them. The legal right to command is vested in the parent, the teacher, or the public officer; but the moral right to control is based upon broader principles, pure motives, superior wisdom, and a reasonable certainty of benefiting those controlled. The mere assurance of words will never convince the child that you possess these qualifications; from infancy up, he must see in you the living embodiment of these principles. Only so far as he can see this, will he be able to render such obedience as God will require of him in maturer years, and thus the highest object of parental obedience be gained. True, the child must be restrained within certain limits (for the protection of others as well as for his own good), whether he admits the justice of the control or not. In very young children who are inclined to be stubborn, the attention may often be innocently diverted until the evil mood has subsided. It should ever be borne in mind that the baser passions, as well as the affections, are strengthened by exercise. Thus we see that it is the part of wisdom to avoid calling into exercise the undesirable qualities of the child's nature, and to quiet them when once aroused. It is sad, indeed, to see parents provoke contests which they cannot carry through without injustice and cruelty. It is very seldom necessary to break down a noble spirit in order to teach it obedience. It is much better to soften the disposition, and bring it where conscience can do its legitimate work.—Good Health.