The Question of Discipline
By Mrs. Luella B. Priddy
THE Lord said of Abraham, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment.” Gen. 18:19. The belief that a child ought never to be punished or compelled to submit to authority is gaining ground in the world. The position is taken that he should be governed wholly by persuasion and by presenting incentives to virtue, and that the rod is an unnecessary cruelty. This, like many other errors, contains a partial truth. The theory works well enough with the ideal child, but unfortunately all children are not ideal children; and in some cases mistakes and neglect have resulted in giving the child a strong bias toward evil. He can not always be dealt with in the way that would have been feasible had he received a right training from the beginning. We should not stir up rebellion in the heart of the child by hasty and unnecessary punishment, but we also do him an injustice when we allow him to have his own way when his own way would lead him to do that which is wrong; and there are some occasions when warnings and admonitions fail, and positive injunctions and even punishment must be resorted to. Eli reproved his sons, and said, “Why do ye such things?” but he took no decided measure to put a stop to the evil, and the curse of God fell upon him and his household. God held him responsible for the character of his family. The temptation is often strong to yield to the importunities of a much-loved child when we fear that a refusal of his request will cause him unhappiness. But the child is far happier when he learns the lesson of submission to proper authority. It is not a pleasant task to punish a child. It appears cruel. But just as the tender-hearted surgeon sometimes feels obliged to inflict suffering that he may save a life or relieve greater suffering, so we can look forward to the good results that follow in the path of obedience, and find encouragement. Threaten little, but a promise of punishment should be as faithfully kept as any other promise, even tho our own heart-strings may quiver and tremble. Duty may at times impel us to say, “I love you too much to allow you to do wrong.” A quiet but positive “No” will often prevent children from doing contrary to our wishes, even tho they feel rebellious at the time. It is not wise to argue the question when the child teases for that which we have refused, or when he gives a saucy reply to our orders. If we go quietly about our own business and say no more, he will usually submit, as he can not quarrel successfully by himself. Children often become restless and ill-natured simply because they have nothing to do, and time hangs heavily upon their hands. Difficulty can often be avoided by finding employment for the child. “Satan finds some mischief still for idle hands to do.” A little careful planning will enable one to keep the busy hands and minds occupied, and they will not be so difficult to govern. A child likes to feel that his services are of value to us, and we can show our appreciation of his efforts when he does his best, altho the results may not always be satisfactory. Our heavenly Father is very tender with us, and when we do our best, altho we make mistakes, He accounts us righteous and accepts us, and we can deal in that way with the children. But the gardener prunes his grape-vines when they do not yield a satisfactory amount of fruit, and the Lord requires His children to submit to the pruning process, and at times the child needs to be pruned. Pruning requires very careful work. Should the gardener take off too large branches or too many at a time, or should he prune it when the sap is running freely, he would sacrifice the life of his choice vine. Many a child has been turned away from the kingdom of heaven by harsh and unkind treatment. If the parent is vexed he will stir up the same spirit in the child. “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Col. 3:21. “A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Prov. 29:15. Children frequently need more attention than their parents are willing to give them. When left alone they are more apt to be quarrelsome and disobedient, and it is often difficult to determine where the blame lies. Tasks may be assigned them, but with no watchful eye to oversee them, they easily fall into the habit of procrastination, thinking they will do their work when they have played awhile, and at last the task is forgotten or neglected. So far as is reasonable, it is better for them to play or work in the presence of father or mother. The right training of a child requires an ungrudging use of our time. It will not do to allow him to run into all manner of wickedness, while we go about our own pleasures, and expect the rod to be an unfailing remedy for everything. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” “But what shall we do with the baby when he makes it manifest that he has a temper of his own?” asks some anxious mother. He has not been in this country very long, and he does not understand English very well, and it will be of no use to reason with him. Here is a plan that has been tried with success in a number of cases: When the wee man begins to stiffen his back and to kick and cry angrily, we will take him up and fold our arms around his back and under his knees very tightly,—so gently that we shall not hurt him but so tightly that he can not straighten out his limbs to kick,—and we will just hold him that way for awhile. We will not speak a word, for we do not wish to disturb him. He is going to do some thinking. He may struggle for a few minutes to free himself, but he will soon discover that there is a stronger power than he, against which it is useless to contend. Suppose the little fellow wants something that we do not wish him to have, what shall we do then?—We will simply shake our head at him, or say “No” quietly, and then we will not let him have it. He may cry a little, but if we are not careful he will conclude that the more he cries the more likely he is to have his own way, and then we shall have trouble enough. Right discipline at first will save much future trouble. In teaching the baby to obey, do as little talking as possible. A habit of obeying a quiet little signal will come in good service when we take him to church or to other public places. If the child has been already allowed to develop strong tendencies to evil, it may take thoro work to reform him. But we can stand on the promise found in Prov. 29:17: “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”