EVERLASTING PUNISHMENT IN THE HOME by MRS. MARY ALICE HARE LOPER, M.S.

Pacific Press Publishing Association · Mountain View, California · Mar 17, 1914

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 41, No. 10.

EVERLASTING PUNISHMENT IN THE HOME

By MRS. MARY ALICE HARE LOPER, M.S.

Innocent children . . . in a brawling atmosphere . . . are surely deserving of pity.

"SLAP, slap, slap! Spank, spank, spank! Whip, whip, whip! Yank, yank, yank! Scold, scold, scold! Threat, threat, threat! Stubborn little 'rebs,' not won yet! "Peace, peace, peace! Calm, calm, calm! Hope, hope, hope! Balm, balm, balm! Love, love, love! Light, light, light! Little rebels won—no more fight!"

HOW sadly inharmonious is the domestic music of many a home, because of discordant wails of grief from dear little heartbroken souls who are keenly conscious of having had inflicted upon them physical suffering by way of punishment which they did not deserve; or having been scolded, and that perhaps concerning some offense of which they were not guilty! Much of the correction given in connection with the home training-school of to-day is given with rising temper, and with little or no previous thought as to what the consequences may be.

Judging from the disastrous methods of correction employed by many whose names are upon church registers, one might be led to infer that the great Text-book of methods contains bits of advice like these: "And thou shalt diligently scold thy children when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou goest to church, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." "Spank upon spank, slap upon slap, here a little, and there a little." "And what I say unto you, I say unto all, Whip!"

I say, if one unacquainted with God's word should accept as a correct interpretation the example of very many of those who profess to follow it, surely the foregoing paraphrases would not be far out of the way. But the fact is, the blessed Bible is entirely silent in regard to such terms as "spank," "slap," and "pull your ears," and many modes of punishment which have crept into the parental discipline of to-day.

Sad as it may seem, it is nevertheless true that multitudes of children are born into the world, of whom it might fittingly be said, "These shall go . . . into everlasting punishment"; that is, into a series of punishments that will be lasting as childhood itself. For many a home is little else than a prison, where helpless children are kept in constant fear of what may be their experience if by any manner of means they shall incur parental displeasure. They seem ever conscious that if they do not keep constantly in a certain sort of treadmill life, punishment more or less severe will be meted out to them, and that without hesitation. I once heard of a mother who made the assertion that it was appropriate to punish a boy at any time; for if he was not already in mischief, he was just going in.

Scolding is the stock in trade of many a home, and its effect upon the tender heart of a child may prove as hardening as that of solar rays upon plastic clay. The wisest man who ever lived has said, "It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house."

It is better to live in one corner of a housetop where true happiness reigns, than to dwell with a quarrelsome person in a spacious mansion. The innocent children who are compelled to live in a brawling atmosphere from one year's end to another are surely deserving of pity.

How sadly often a child is punished when he does not need it; or perhaps receives severe punishment for a trivial offense; or is punished for a certain offense at one time, of which at another time no notice whatever is taken; the matter of punishment seeming to be quite dependent upon the condition of the parent's temper—or possibly his digestion! Often commands are given or requests are made with no particular notice taken as to whether or not they are obeyed.

Perhaps it is just as well that the school-teacher who chases a boy for two blocks does not catch him, for probably she would not know just what was best to do next if she should catch him. How often are heard ejaculations like this: "I have whipped Johnnie, and whipped him, but it does not seem to do one bit of good"! The treatment does not affect Johnnie any more than the command of the man in that time-worn story affected the dog, when he said, "Come here, Towser," and Towser went under the bed; and the master added submissively, "Well, then, go under the bed." Evidently Johnnie's case is one that needs a different prescription.

Treatment that is just the thing for chills and fever, is not effectual in curing cholera morbus. Again, that which will cure a certain ailment in one individual, may not be effectual in curing a like ailment in another individual. And this is as true in the realm of moral ills as it is in the realm of physical ills. In the latter realm, the most heroic treatment is reserved for severe cases. So in the realm of moral ills, the whip should be used only when the offense is of sufficient magnitude, and when the offender's attitude toward that offense is such as to warrant it.

"O, but," says one, "Solomon says to use the rod." Yes, "Solomon says"—poor Solomon! He did not know to what extent his heaven-born wisdom in regard to child-training would be misconstrued and abused by succeeding generations. He did not know how many would seek to hide behind his blessed advice their hasty temper, their unreasonable punishment, their harsh blows, for which his words of wisdom never granted any permission. He says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." The "rod of correction" is the rod that corrects, and is always wielded in love. If the rod fails to correct the fault, then a serious mistake has been made, and the trouble probably will increase.

The idea that a child must be whipped or spanked or slapped or yanked for every trivial mistake he makes, is absurd; and the parent who follows this practise is as unreasonable as the one who keeps upon his medicine shelf a family cure-all bottle, "good for man or beast."

To reach the highest success possible in child-training requires time, patience, and divine grace. But if one will only take the Bible as his guide, he will find the weight of evidence there is always in favor of love as the principle which should actuate every act of life. The rod is never the "rod of correction," such as Solomon recommends, unless it is wielded in love. But how seldom would the rod ever be used, if parents themselves were in harmony with the good Book, and would take time to instruct and govern their children according to the divine method! Many times a few kind words will do what a whip would never accomplish.

"Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." The Bible nowhere, not even in Solomon's writings, permits a parent to deal harshly with a child. It nowhere sanctions punishment of any kind except in tender love. And when, by the miracle of divine grace, all traces of ill temper are removed from parental hearts, somehow the rod does not occupy a place of prominence in the family training-school, and is not considered the cure-all for juvenile moral ills.