A LESSON IN PARENTAL CONTROL.
By Mrs. Cynthia Goodwin
MRS. ADAMS had just placed a bright new doilie on the center table to brighten up the room. Little Lela must have her part in the work, too, and so she gathered a bouquet of the best flowers she could find, filled a vase with water, crowded the flower stems down into the vase till the water was flowing over the top, and then placed the dripping vase in the center of the new doilie. "Why, you little blockhead," cried her mother, "don't you know any better than to put that wet vase and those trashy flowers on my new doilie? Take them away at once, and put them in the ash barrel. Go!" Mrs. Adams then turned to her visitor with the petulant query: "Do you ever have your children spoil your things in that way?" "Yes, dear; children are children; but I am very sorry to see how much you have spoiled." "Why, what have I spoiled, Mrs. Brown?" "Spoiled? why, you have spoiled the opportunity of letting that child see that you appreciate its toil for you. You have lost or destroyed a chance of getting a firmer hold upon your child's confidence. When you scold it so, you drive it from you, and it loses respect for you. You will excuse me for speaking so plainly, but do you not see that the little one worked hard to gather those flowers for you, thinking to please you? The thought never entered her childish head that she was injuring anything. The Bible says, 'Cursed is he that returneth evil for good.' I fear that we, as parents, are likely to bring that curse upon our own heads, if we treat our children unkindly in return for their efforts to please us. Just consider for a moment the child's feelings in the matter. You called her a blockhead. If I were to speak so of your child, you would quite likely order me out of the house; but you probably shocked the child's nervous system far more by thus speaking than I would shock you by making a similar remark. Sometime you will tell the little one that she is bright and sweet; and then it will begin to confuse your two statements, and doubt your truthfulness. Children are very matter-of-fact in their lives until we bring about a difference in them by the way we speak and the things we do." "So many mothers find, when too late, that they do not have their children's confidence. They would give anything they possess to gain it; for mayhap their boys and girls are on the road to perdition; but it is in the seeming trifles that we knit and link their very hearts to ours. When we have their confidence so that they will tell us everything, we need have little fear of their going wrong." "Yes, I know, Helen, what you say is all true; but this terrible temper of mine constantly gets the upper hand of me. Poor little pet, I must try to make amends to her; for she tries to do so many such things for me. I never thought of rendering evil for good to my child. What shall I do to control myself?" "The only way, Ethel, is to confess and forsake, giving your life anew into the hands of your Saviour every morning, relying upon Him for grace to direct you in your dealings with your children. You will get nearer to your child now, if you confess your wrong, and her confidence will be strengthened in you." Little Lela had fled to another room, and had cried herself to sleep. As Mrs. Adams looked down upon the tear-stained face of her little girl, and saw the intermittent twitching of the little body, as she sobbed in her sleep, she realized more than ever the wrong she had done, and the necessity for self-control in dealing with little lives. Mrs. Adams could not repress the tears herself, as she looked upon the result of her work. The child awoke with a start. "O, did you really want the flowers, mama? I did not throw them away; I put them in my playhouse. I'll get them, if you want them." The caresses and kisses and the prayers for forgiveness were beyond the child's comprehension, and why the doilie is now none too good for the flowers she does not understand, till Mrs. Adams takes the little one over the whole ground of the misunderstanding. Now she understands that they both like the pretty flowers. She has learned, also, why it is that the vase can stand on the doilie now, but could not before. She has learned a lesson in carefulness, and the mother one in self-control, and both are happy instead of miserable. Now the busy little hands and the busy little feet are more busy than ever to help mama, and her little arms are often put around mama's neck. Again and again she asks, "Mama, do you love me?" She sees the change, and is making very sure that mama does love her. She was not sure of it before. Some weeks after this Mrs. Adams' visitor is again with her. This time Lela brings in a little kitten that is dripping wet. Her own dress is soiled with it. "I didn't mean to get my dress dirty, mama; but a naughty boy threw the kitten in the mud, and I thought you would be sorry for it, and so I brought it in." Mrs. Adams dried the mistreated kitten, while Lela stood looking sorrowfully at the dress that had been clean but a few minutes before. Here is the place where impatience can weaken the ties of her child's love and trust and confidence, or where the exercise of patience can bind the little one to the mother heart with stronger cords than ever before. But the temptation to yield to the tempter is mastered, and she says very gently: "Come, dear, you shall have a clean dress on. You felt sorry for the kitty, and mama does, too." That patience and the few words of kindness, how they bind hearts, and fill the home with sunshine and joy! "Mrs. Adams, God is teaching us wonderful lessons in character building, when we let Him control and guide. We must keep our hearts open by secret prayer. When Christ abides within, our loved ones see and know and feel the blessed influence that shapes our characters."