HAPPY the youth who early paints upon the unspotted canvas of his memory his “ideal woman.” Happier the lover who woos and wins her. But happiest of all, the benedict who, after many years of married life, finds himself still a devoted lover, captivated more and more by the growing charms of his “ideal.”
The term “ideal,” like the word “riches,” is a relative one; that is, what would be “ideal” and “riches” to one, would be inferior and poverty to the other. All depends upon the standard set by the one making the mental picture; and this standard is high or low, according to his environment, education, and moral perfection. Thus there would be great antagonism between the “ideal” of the Hottentot, the Chinese, the Turk, and the “ideal” of Anglo-Saxon civilization.
Even among civilized peoples and individuals, we find numerous standards of the “ideal woman”—standards set by those who view her from the physical, the mental, the moral, or the social standpoint.
The chief needs of her husband, or husband-to-be, also conjure up to him visions of his most-to-be-desired better half, which may, and do, cut directly across the dreams of his fellow mortals who are differently situated.
For instance, the ideal wife of the first settler or pioneer would need to know how to endure physical hardships, how to handle the saw, ax, or rifle even, on occasion, helping to provide fuel, clear the land, or repel an attack of Indians or of wild beasts. How different would be the requirements for the wife of an artist, a clergyman, an editor, or a congressman.
Viewed as to her character, the “ideal” woman must conform to one great standard—the moral law of Ten Commandments. All mankind having “sinned and come short of the glory of God,” she only who attains most nearly to the fulfilment of God’s law may be accounted as one of “the most to be desired” of her sex. And she attains this standard only by becoming the embodiment of love, which is the fulfilling of the law.
All sensible, Christian gentlemen agree as to the love-fruits which the tree of the ideal woman will bear. Let her be loving, cheerful, patient, pure, gentle, brave, and modest. Let her ever be open-hearted, reverential, avoiding small talk and small reading, and gossiping never; let her point out only the good traits of her friends, yes, her enemies; let her be dignified without being stiff; let her be cultured, interested in the salvation of the world thru the salvation of her family, rather than thru her club at the expense of her family.
My ideal woman is she who has “a sound mind in a sound body,” who recognizes that without a sound physical basis—a strong and healthy body—all her other attainments, be they mental or moral, are so much energy wasted. She possesses moral earnestness, avoids frivolity, and remembers that life is more than meat, and the mind more than clothes.
She is welcome not only to her allowance, but, if need be, to my bank-book—to all I possess. Her sunny smiles and winning ways make my home-coming a daily feast and compel me to drop my bundle of worries just outside the door.
She is neat, but not showy, both in her dress and house furnishings. She is not afraid of the house called “they,” but has the courage to live up to her convictions, regardless of Madam Society or Madam Fashion. Glorying in physical culture and the simple life, she is free from the bondage of drugs, headache-powders, cosmetics, from all things superficial and artificial.
So solicitous is she of her husband’s welfare and advancement in his calling, that, with Mrs. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, she well says of him, “Nobody exactly understands him except me, who am in the inside of him, and hear him breathe.”
Finally, with true womanly instinct, she turns from the glare of public life to joyously “fulfil a woman’s highest calling as a wife and mother.”
Not long ago one hundred representative unmarried men were asked to name the qualities best fitting a young woman for an ideal wife. Among the many requisites mentioned, the following eight were named as most to be desired:
Remarkable tho it may seem, “beauty, money, fine attire, position, family, social influence, were comparatively little in demand. Not one asked for money. Only one asked for good clothes; twelve asked for beauty, and not one asked for position, family, or social influence.”
Thousands of ideal women have lived, and are living, ideal wives, who, by their quiet, yet powerful, home influence have helped their husbands to build empires and make history. Margaret, the wife of Henry VI; Mary, the wife of William, Prince of Orange; Martha, the wife of George Washington, and countless other faithful spouses, made their husbands what they were. And of such an ideal wife it was that the Prince Bismarck said: “She it is who has made me what I am;” and of another such Luther said: “I would not exchange my poverty with her for all the riches of Crœsuswithout her.”