If I Were a Fiend

Pacific Press Publishing Association · Mountain View, California · Jul 5, 1910

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 37, No. 26.

If I Were a Fiend

If I had the spirit of a fiend and had an enemy that I wished to murder in the most cruel way possible, I would poison him with alcohol. I would administer the poison at first in occasional drinks of beer and light wines, with just enough alcohol to stimulate an appetite which would begin to whisper, "More, more." I would make him think it was good for his stomach, quickening to the brain, and quieting to the nerves. I would tell him that it was—

Manly to Be Able to Drink

or let it alone, and that only softies were afraid to touch it. I would soon have him craving something stronger than beer and wine, and have him taking his daily "nipper" containing more of my poison. I would inflame his stomach and create a constant longing for strong drink. I would contract his blood corpuscles and make them unfit to bring and carry, in the life traffic of his system. I would cook his brain as alcohol cooks the white of an egg. I would deaden his nerve cells, enlarge and fatten his kidneys, "nutmeg" the liver, and make the heart stagger like a drunken man. I would weaken and then—

Destroy His Will Power

and enslave his manhood. I would lead him into drunkenness, and make him ashamed of his disgrace. I would compel him to take the money that should go to clothe his family, and spend it for my poison. He should see his children want the common necessities of life. I would make him penitent, begging his wife's pardon for his disgraceful conduct. He should promise never to take another drop. And I would bring tears of joy to the wife and good cheer to the home in thought of better days, and a clean and affectionate father.

And in less than a week I would send some toper companion—

To Lure Him into a Saloon

and send him staggering into the presence of his wife, blanching her cheeks, crushing her hopes, and breaking her heart. I would then make him drink to drown his shame and forget his lost manhood. I would make him think of better days, and a happy home unclouded by the despair of drink. I would send him to some temperance meeting to catch sight of a sober life, and—

Get Him to Sign the Pledge

of total abstinence. He should carry the pledge home to his wife, and amid tears and hopes renewed, he should face the future, hoping that at last he stood upon solid ground. And I would let him stand for a while till the cheeks of the wife grew rosy once again, and better food began to come upon the table, and better clothes to appear upon the backs of the children. The songs long silenced should resound once more in the home.

And then I would send him —

By Some Licensed Saloon

out of which poured the exhalations of my poison, that should leap upon him, and seize him, and down every resolution, and make the appetite in him demand satisfaction. I would make him too drunk to go home that night, reveling with companions that had missed him. And the wife should sit with breaking heart and dying hopes, waiting for the staggering steps that should not come.

Then I would open hell before the face of that man —

The Hell of a Drunkard

The demons of the bottomless pit should chase him. The serpents of delirium should strike him. The hobgoblins of an alcohol-crazed brain should mock him. In frenzied rage he should strike down his wife, and she should lie as one dead at his feet; and his children should flee to the neighbors for safety. I would prolong this earthly hell for a season, and then in the midst of the laughter of the demons and the hissing of the serpents, with honor dead, self-respect murdered, and dearest friends tortured,—

He Should Die

the neighbors relieved that he is gone, the children breathing freer that he will never frighten them again, and the wife mourning, not that he is dead, but that life for him had been a failure. Thus would I murder my enemy —

If I Had the Spirit of a Fiend

Reader, will you vote that such murders shall be committed under legalized protection through license? And sometimes do you want the license fee so high that only the gifted business men may engage in the enterprise, compelling them to do the largest amount of business possible, that they may gain a profit above the high license they pay?— Religious Forum.