MY DEAR BRO. WHITE: Though a stranger to you personally yet I rejoice to say, I feel familiarly acquainted with the spirit you seem to manifest in that very welcome bundle of papers which you sent to me. Unless I am entirely mistaken in regard to what the spirit of my Blessed Jesus is, it is a very prominent characteristic of the principal writers of the "Review and Herald." And my prayer is, that nothing which savors of a contrary spirit may ever find a place in those columns
As those papers were sent me free of charge, it is certainly due from me, at least, to say they have been read with pleasure, and I trust with profit. And though I am not prepared as yet to endorse all that I find in them, yet I do and will rejoice in the light as fast as I can see it. I have been looking for light, and indeed I may say, expecting it, because the angel of the Lord told Daniel, "The wise shall understand." Some things I had understood before, and some things I could not understand. I understood perfectly well, (because I had proved it by mathematical demonstration,) that the 2300 days of Daniel's vision, had run out; but why the Lord had not come, I could not understand. Now it is clear, praise the Lord, O my soul. As I am a stranger to you it may not be uninteresting, should I give you a brief account of my history for the last few years. To go back no farther than 1829, I will say that after several years hard study of theological books I received license to preach the gospel in the Presbyterian Church, and in 1830 was ordained by the same body to the work of an evangelist. Soon after this, I began to compare theology with Bible, as I never had done before, and as might be expected, as a natural result, I became more liberal in my views; and in relation to some points, my mind underwent an entire revolution. I at length began to see that the nominal churches had passed their glory, and were sinking into shades of darkness, and that the world at large, was fast becoming corrupt.—I proclaimed it from the pulpit and from house to house as occasion presented, but met with opposition from every quarter. I was, however, in the main treated with kindness, inasmuch as I always aimed to speak in kindness
Thus I labored on until 1842, when my mind was called to examine the doctrines relating to the Second Advent of our Saviour called Millerism. I saw the light, but though I had made up my mind not to "confer with flesh and blood;" yet to come out on a subject, against which both popularity and interest were at war, required more moral courage and greater strength of faith than I had before been called to exercise.
There was my pleasant home, my friends, and my salary to be given up. What could I do? How could I live? were inquiries that haunted my mind for days and nights. While on the other hand, I was impressed that my salvation hung upon a decision for the truth. I thought of Elijah in the wilderness, fed by the ravens, and made up my mind, I will come out for the truth, and leave the event with God. I did so, and "thus far the Lord has led me on." We have not always had all that we used to call comforts of life, when I could depend on $500 or $600 salary, yet we have suffered for nothing. Nor have I any fears of suffering, for "The Lord is my Shepherd." In him will I put my trust.
The church with which I was formerly connected, have ever treated me with kindness. And though they call me bewildered and out of my right mind, yet, they acknowledge me sincere and honest, and often, especially since the fall of 1844, have I been urged to go back, and again receive my salary. When we have been short for means on which to live, their offers have been rather tempting, yet thus far I have been enabled to say, "thy money perish with thee." My firm conviction, that the whole advent movement up to 1844 was of God, and that the 2300 days then expired, has been the saving influence that has kept me from falling. I have often said to my brethren, "If I give up the advent movement, being just what it seemed to be as we came along in it, and give up the ending of the days in 1844, I will give up the whole, and go back again to my liberal salary." But this I could not do, with the Bible in my hand, which reads now just as it did then. I still praise God for the light I received in 1842. I believe it will "shine brighter and brighter until the perfect day," and that all those who hold on to the "sure word of prophecy," will walk in the light, and not stumble nor fall. O that I could see more of the dear brethren walking in the "path of the just."
Thus, by the grace of God, I was holding on to the past, which I had experienced in the advent history, when, in December or January last, Brother Case, from Jackson Mich., came to my house, with what he called the "third angel's message." At first, it looked very fanciful to me. But still, as truth was what I wanted, I resolved to give it a faithful examination. I did so, and though, as in the case of the first message, I found it not what it has been reported to be by its enemies, yet several weeks passed before I could so far satisfy my mind, even in relation to the Sabbath question, as to commence keeping the "Seventh Day." Brother Bowles finally came along, at two different times, and labored like a faithful steward, in trying to get the light more clear before me. But still I had difficulties in my way. I read my Bible on the question, by day, and meditated on it by night. I also read all the books I could raise on church history, touching the Sabbath, especially those in favor of its change from the seventh to the first day of the week—talked with ministers to see if they had any light, but finding nothing but darkness, I resolved to return to the Bible, as, the "man of my counsel." In so doing, I found, to the joy of my heart, that "light shineth in a dark place." I am now keeping the Lord's Sabbath, and feel my soul blest in it. My wife is not interested in the subject, as I am, yet yields to my wishes in relation to it. We are alone here at present. Brother and Sister Thayer, are the only individuals in this place, besides myself, who entertain the advent faith. They are not yet on the Sabbath question, but from what I know of their honesty as Christians, I believe they will soon be out, and in the enjoyment of those who keep the commandments of God.
And now let me say in conclusion, I feel like a new man. From 1844 until now, I have felt destitute of a message. And though I have occasionally made an effort to preach, yet it has been "like beating against the air." I now long to be again in the field, as I was before the tenth-day movement. I see the Sanctuary is being cleansed, and the last message is being given.—O who will prepare himself for the battle! My anxious inquiry is, what shall I do? I have a feeble wife, two children, and an aged mother, on my care. I cannot leave them, unless I leave with them a faithful girl. Where to find the girl; or if I could find one, where to find money to pay for her service, I know not. And then again, I cannot go without a horse and carriage.—So, for the present, I leave the matter with God. If he has any more work for me to do, the way will be opened. Perhaps some faithful brother who has the means for traveling will come along and take me in, if that is the best way, and I should be so situated that I can leave my family. O that some faithful preaching brother, who is able to defend the whole truth would come this way.
How glad I should be to once more visit those dear brethren in the eastern states, with whom I labored in 1843 and 1844. * But I must say adieu.
Your brother in patient waiting,
BOWMAN B. BROWN.
Beloit, Rock Co., Wis., March 21st, 1852.
P. S. I would just say, I am the brother known through the "Herald" and "Harbinger" by the signature of B. B. Brown.