Marrying Unbelievers

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Jul 17, 1913

Marrying Unbelievers

[The following earnest warning is written by one of our sisters, who speaks from personal experience. The counsel given should be read and heeded by the young people of this church.—Ed.]

For years I have seen many young people swept out of the church into the world. I have wished that I might say something that would be of some help in turning the tide, but my words seem so poor and inadequate.

It was not Paul, but the Spirit of a loving Heavenly Father through his apostle, who said, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?" Looking down through the ages, he saw the great vortex of human misery, sorrow, disappointment, and loss that unequal marriages would cause.

He said the same thing to his people in every age, and gave as his reason, "They will turn away thy son from following me." Deut. 7:4.

There is no other pitfall of Satan's devising more complete or more far-reaching in its effects than the one he sets to ensnare young people into the bonds of love with unbelievers.

Love is the most vital principle that enters into our lives. It gives zest to every joy, and tempers every experience that comes to us. Burdens seem lighter, nothing seems too much to endure, when

love holds sway; but love misplaced is the author of more sorrow, misery, and ruined lives than any other element. Here is where Satan strikes. His advances are subtle. We are nearing the end, and he is redoubling his efforts at this most vulnerable point, seeking to attract the young and draw them into the pleasures and companionship of the world, and thence into love and marriage with unbelievers.

"But," says one, "the man I go with is not an unbeliever. He believes in religion, in the Bible," etc. Yes, but he does not believe the third angel's message. That message draws a line of separation that is impassable, and there can be no complete harmony where there is discord on that point.

I know whereof I speak. Discord there is, the bitter in the sweet—a bitterness that lingers poignantly through all.

There are at least two classes of those who have married "out of the truth,"—those who meet no particular opposition to their views and to their practise of them, and those who meet opposition to both. In the first class some of them may possibly remain true, though the chances are most of them will become cold and eventually drop out. But in the near future, if true, each must decide between the world-despised remnant people, and the companion with whom every thought and impulse is entwined, who has become so much a part of his or her life that thought of separation seems unendurable. But this choice must come to every soul. I fear that those whose faith and courage in that trying time will enable them to choose Jesus and the world's disapproval will be few indeed.

Think this over, you who look forward to a happy union "out of the truth." This question is not one-sided. Young men as well as young women need to consider these things. My brother, will you be able at that time to turn away from the woman who has cast her lot with you, who, aside from not accepting the message, has given you all her heart's devotion, who is perhaps the mother of your little ones?

Think this over, you who value eternal life. Today it is much easier, though you think the disappointment would seem like taking your life, than then, after the union is made.

All who marry do so expecting to increase their happiness. The young man who has listened so willingly to your talk of spiritual things has perhaps been attracted to you by those very characteristics. They have in his eyes placed a halo about you, and he loves you. You think, surely you will win him to the truth, that somehow your case must be an exception to the rule, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers." But how soon the awakening! You find that however much he may love you, he wants none of the "truth" you love; he may not be willing even to hear any reference to it. There are degrees to which this aversion may be and is carried. Some take refuge in ridicule, sarcasm; some in outbursts of rage. O, the heartaches and humiliation he may subject you to! Whatever the manifestation of his disbelief and displeasure, you soon realize that you walk alone; you pray alone. No prayer ever joins with yours to give you courage and uplifting. You read alone; you enjoy, as much as you can, the good spiritual thoughts alone. You find your way more impressively solitary than if you were single.

You know not what method the enemy of souls may select to harass and discourage you. I know cases where every difference of opinion or of taste of any nature whatsoever is laid to the wife's religious belief, although her peculiar beliefs,—the Sabbath and so on, are seldom referred to by her, other than in humble performance of duty.

You who are drifting toward unequal yokes, stop and think over all these possible things. They are the experiences of others. Do you know they will not be yours? Are you strong enough to rise above all these discouraging influences? Do you never need a loved voice to whisper words of helpfulness in times of trial? Are you able to walk alone?

If, after all, you find that you love the truth better than all else, some day you will wake up to the step you have taken, wake up to the consciousness that God knows best, that it was unutterable love and consideration for you that, in scanning the end from the beginning, God said, "Be ye not unequally yoked."

But this is not all. Perhaps little ones have come to you, and with them come new problems. Naturally, your first thought is to train them for God's service. Your companion, too, has plans for them, but for this world. Thus you have a double tax upon your strength, your courage, your faith. You will find it hard to pull against so strong a tide, which may be made more difficult still by the worldly inclination of the children themselves. The Lord wants our children educated under the influence of the truth, and thus saved to his service, but you may have to see your little ones sent where the principles of the world are instilled, intermingled with infidelity and unbelief.

You will not have the constant prayers and help of your companion in training those little feet in ways of righteousness, helping them to learn to stand for God in the crisis just before us. When that crisis comes, decision will not be made in a moment, but the decision will have been made in days of training, in the trials of the yesterdays which they met, and conquered or lost.

And this is not all. You who "marry out of the truth" cut short your field of usefulness, virtually tie your hands and feet. No matter how your heart longs to go out and labor, the pride of your companion says No. You cannot work with freedom; you do not want to deceive; the little you try to do close by is hampered. And now when workers are needed so much, we should keep ourselves where we can answer God's call to us, where we can be used.

Too much cannot be said. The things pointed out in this are but a few hints of the real dangers involved. But let this be remembered, that taking this step puts the soul in jeopardy, and I urge those contemplating it to break before it is too late. Time is short, and it was an all-wise, all-seeing, loving Father who said, "Be ye not unequally yoked together."