A Willing Heart to Serve
By S. Peckham
DEARLY BELOVED BRETHREN AND SISTERS:—How much urging many of us want to move us to perform some little act for Jesus who has done so much for us, and whose salvation we are all anxious to share. I have thought of late how God looks upon froward children, as it is written, "that have not asked at my mouth." Have we asked at his mouth his will concerning us as much as we should? The froward will be content to amuse themselves with what seems most in their way, (with passing objects,) unless an urgent call compels them to perform some duty which will be performed as a task rather than a delight, because they are not anxious about pleasing the Parent; while the obedient and ever-dutiful will perform one duty with pleasure, and as soon as completed, will be ever ready to say with a willing heart, What more, or what next, is to be done? But how much like ungovernable children have very many of us appeared! Have we not hid our Lord's money in the earth? and at his appearing whose shall it be? What better prayer can we offer than, Father in heaven, what wilt thou have me to do? waiting with a ready mind and willing heart to do without delay the first duty, and thus prepare the way all the time for the next. I confess that this way of contributing my mite to the glory of God has always been exceedingly crossing to me, while I have almost despaired of hope in ever being able to assist in a pecuniary manner. I have felt for a few weeks past that there was but one way for me to prove to God my willingness to suffer with his people and for his name's sake; and that is by refusing to partake of many things that might otherwise be received with thanksgiving, and find it a good thing to learn to suffer a little. It brings nigh the promised Rest, weans us from the things of this world, opens our eyes to the wiles of the enemy, and teaches us to seek more earnestly the subduing grace of God, if perchance we may be made conformable to his will in all things; but O how bitterly do I complain to God at times of my poor heart which is not yet sanctified. I know I do not love him with a perfect love, or I should not shrink, as I feel I sometimes do, from bearing the cross of Christ. I have not yet learned to bear it about in my body unceasingly, without sometimes becoming weary of its burthen; although I have sometimes been led to exclaim, O the beauties that cluster around the cross of Christ! how few realize it! But why can I not always have this decision? I have several times within a few months past been brought to say, I long to burst every band that binds to this earth, and let the world and all that is therein know that I am for God and none else; but, after all, have failed to remain before him until I had "learned of him" how to let my light shine, consequently would seem to slide back imperceptibly into a lukewarm state, without bringing forth any visible fruit. It is written, "If ye live in the Spirit, walk in the Spirit." But how? I sometimes say, truly, "To will is present with me, but how to perform, I find not." But if ever I really loved the coming of the Lord, it is of late. "I sigh from this body of sin to be free," and feel at times that I cannot long be clogged with things of earth; that my spirit would "leap from its prisoned abode, and the King in his beauty adore." But why have I so little strength to manifest the same, even among saints? I see that if they are not the first to manifest the same, I feel that I am so weak that I cannot affect them; and if others are first to express themselves freely, then I feel that they are so far in advance that I am put to shame, and again hold my peace. But this is not the way to glorify God. O how many ways Satan has to deceive us, and if it were possible he would deceive the very elect. We must not be ignorant of his devices, but make diligent search, and know our own selves, and find out his lurking-places in our hearts, then fast and pray before God to give us overcoming grace on those points; and if we are set to overcome we shall have grace so to do. I do not say these things for the benefit of those who have obtained the victory, but for those who are trying to war a good warfare unto eternal life. I hope the Laodicean cry will prove effectual in awakening the whole Advent host to its real condition, and poverty, and that we may all be led to seek unto God until we do receive the anointing from on high, and are made unto him a "peculiar treasure above all people." I think I have grieved the Spirit in neglecting to acknowledge the gratitude I have felt from time to time for the rich provisions made for us in the Review. I think few have read it with more delight than myself. I have rejoiced greatly, especially within the past year, for the prospect of a rise in spirituality and practical piety. I have not been satisfied with myself. I believe it possible and necessary to have every thought brought into subjection to the obedience of Christ, and if we submit ourselves to God it is impossible but that we shall feel the grace of God present to help our infirmities. Yes, how often do we exclaim within ourselves, How good the Lord is! I have been greatly instructed and encouraged in reading these selections on Keeping the Heart, and extracts from the memoir of James Brainerd Taylor. I have always believed in a heart work in religion, and sighed and cried for lack of what it seemed to me we must have more abundantly. But how to arise95above impending obstacles so as to obtain free and full salvation, was the mystery. "Sure I must fight if I would reign
Increase my courage, Lord,
I'll bear the toil, endure the pain,
Supported by thy word."
S. Peckham.
Fulton, Oswego Co., N. Y., Dec. 25th, 1856.