Are used by mechanics, in the construction of a variety of articles, such as pails, tubs, kegs, barrels, tierces, hogsheads, pipes &c. and are very useful in their proper place; but like every other useful article, should be confined to their proper sphere; and as soon as they do wander from their appropriate calling, they are an awkward thing.
Sometimes little boys use hoops to amuse themselves with, in their innocent diversions, and this is well enough when they can find no better play.
I once knew a person, who was sometimes a little crazy, who at one time imagined himself in danger of bursting. In order to prevent so unpleasant a catastrophe, he procured himself some staves, and hooping his body tightly with a rope over the staves, came into town in this condition, for the transaction of business; and this was considered good evidence of insanity.
But this is a fast age, and a novel use has been found for hoops. Females may be seen in every locality with skirts distended, appearing like some inverted balloon; and such is the universal rage for this fashionable deformity, that even in the most remote and rustic hamlet, the swinging, gas like, balloon shaped skirt, deforms our female population, from the aged matron down to the innocent tottling babe.
I had occasion not long since to call on business on an acquaintance who has a large family of children, mostly daughters from 15 years of age to the infant in the cradle, and it was a wonder to me, to see the little girls all floating about at their domestic employments, and avocations, brushing against this one and just grazing against that one; yes those little rustics, who might be simple and innocent and good, are thus early taught to bow at the shrine of the goddess of fashion. Oh shame, where is thy blush! Oh! it is not the fashion to blush in this wonderful, intelligent age. But says an apologist for hoops, (a minister, too) "They are cool in the summer, and all right when of moderate dimensions." Oh, fashion! to what hights of extravagance wilt thou not lead thy worshipers. Let these inflated articles go out of fashion, and how soon would the apologist for hoops hang this useless, disgusting appurtenance in the garret. Oh the folly, the madness, of raging fashion. How beautiful is simplicity and neatness in dress. God has gifted humanity with a graceful form, and a truly godly person will not deform it for fashion's sake.