The three Fighting Deacons of Geauga.
By M. E. Cornell
We made the statement in Fairview that those churches called Evangelical were not agreed, and Eld. Adams said I knew it was false. Many of the citizens of Fairview still believe my statement to be correct. In consideration of this, one of the business men of the place furnished me the following, which he clipped from the Dubuque Daily Herald. In a small neighborhood in Geauga Country live three deacons. The first is a Methodist, the second a Presbyterian, and the third a Baptist. All live quite a distance from their meeting houses, and as the traveling is excessively bad at this time of year, they concluded to hold meetings in the little school-house in the neighborhood. The question then arose which denomination should hold the first meeting. The Methodist claimed the privilege of opening the exercises. The Presbyterian demanded it. The Baptist insisted upon it. Here was "a fix." They wrangled over the matter until the dander of each deacon arose to a fever heat, and each vowed he would hold a meeting at the red school house the very next evening, which happened to be on Friday last. And on that evening at early candlelight the school house was crowded with Methodists, Presbyterians, Baptists, and several world's people. The Presbyterian commenced reading a catechism. The Baptist at the same time arose and commenced reading a tract on immersion. The Methodist at the same time struck up an old fashioned hymn, shouting it forth at the top of his lungs. The effect was ludicrous. It apparently struck the mixed congregation so, for, they all began to laugh. The Baptist was wheezy. He sunk exhausted into his seat, while the other two continued. All at once the ludicrousness of the scene struck the Baptist, and he indulged in a protracted laugh. This displeased the Presbyterian, and forgetting himself, he dealt the Baptist a stunning blow under the right ear. The Methodist threw his hymn book down and rushed to the Baptist's rescue. He arrived just in time to receive the Presbyterian's fist between his eyes. The Baptist and Methodist together attacked the Presbyterian, but he was too much for them. The scene that ensued beggars description. Chairs were overturned. Window glass was broken. Women shrieked. Men yelled. We have no wish to make fun of an affair which has caused profound regret among the religious people of Geauga. We merely relate the facts. The matter is in litigation.—Cleveland [Ohio] Plaindealer.