EXPERIENCE by Irena G. Camp

The Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Oct 29, 1861

EXPERIENCE.

By Irena G. Camp

DEAR BRO. WHITE: Thinking that it may not be uninteresting or unprofitable to the readers of the Review to learn something of the dealings of the Lord with one of his most unworthy children, I thought I would pen a few lines, ardently desiring to abase self and exalt God in all I may say.

I have from a child loved the people of God, and have taken great delight in their company, in hearing them talk and pray, and have greatly desired myself to be a christian, but did not indulge a hope until I was over twenty years of age. Before this time I was many times almost in despair, fearing that I never should be a christian, until I heard a sermon preached from these words: "Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth." In the course of the sermon the preacher expressed the feelings and desires of those who did remember God as required in his word, and I knew that they were mine. And how great was my joy when I felt that I might hope that I was a christian; which I probably might have done long before, but I thought I had never felt as I must feel before I was converted. I have no doubt but what I felt a godly sorrow for my sins, producing love to God and his holy word, and his dear people. At what time I was converted I never could tell; but this I can truly say, that I have many times felt the Spirit of God witnessing with my spirit that he is mine and I am his, which has been a great comfort to me, especially for these few years past while I have been passing through the fiery ordeal, with none but my Father in heaven who could know my sufferings, which I feel are having a purifying effect upon my soul.

Ever since I have professed religion, and have been united with the people of God, it has been my earnest desire to live so that I might be a help and a comfort to the people of God. And whenever I have failed of this, I have been grieved to the very heart. Tears have been my meat day and night, to think that I should add one drop to the cup of affliction and sorrow which the people of God are called to drink.

And I have always very much dreaded the thought of backsliding from God. I recollect a number of years ago I had feared for some time that my love was growing cold, and I earnestly plead with the Lord to revive his work in my heart; and one day, while I was thus pleading, the question came to me, Are you willing that I should take that child to do it? (a precious babe of about ten months old.) The reply of my heart was, If it be possible, let this cup pass. But not long after this the child was taken sick about 10 o'clock in the evening, and died about 8 o'clock the next morning. When I saw that the child must die, I calmly resigned him into the hands of the Lord, beseeching him that his sufferings might be short. And when he was dead, I gave thanks to his name that since he saw fit to take the child, his sufferings were short. The doctor called his disease inflammation and mortification. The Methodist minister preached the funeral sermon from these words, "What I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter." It is hardly needful that I should say that the love of God was revived in my heart.

Another incident that occurred a few years since may not be uninteresting. At the time of the sickness and death of Bro. John Pierce, as our daughter lived with them at the time, I seldom entered my closet without remembering them, and one day as I was praying for them, not knowing whether Bro. Pierce was living and suffering, or whether he was at rest, all at once I was stopped to behold the scene of bereavement and mourning that had taken place. And ever after this I felt more like praying that the affliction might be sanctified, and the mourners comforted, than for him in a state of suffering. I did not hear of his death for a number of weeks, but when I did hear, I judged it to be about the same time that the scene of mourning passed in review before my mind.

I recollect a number of years ago as I was going to visit a neighbor who had just received the truth, and feeling a deep sense of my own weakness and frailty, and earnestly desiring to do good and not harm, I went praying that God would give me wisdom that I might say just what I ought to say, and no more, and that I might stay just as long as I ought, and no longer. After having talked very pleasantly, and I hoped faithfully, for a while, I began to feel as though it was time for me to go, and I had got up and stood talking, when I heard the voice of our oldest son calling me, Mother! Mother! Come now! It sounded perfectly plain and natural. Sr. Gould heard the call, as she was the one with whom I was talking. I hastened home, and inquired if our son had got home, as I knew he was gone when I left. They said that he had not been at home, and no one had called me. Then I knew that God had heard my prayer, and that he had sent his angel to call me that I might not do hurt when I desired to do good.

Five years ago last March I felt to dedicate myself anew to God, and plead with him for grace and strength, which I felt was graciously granted me. And when my babe was about two months old, it happened one evening that I was left alone, and I took my Bible and sat down to read, and I opened it and read where the Lord said of Paul that he would yet show him how great things he must suffer for his name's sake; and I felt that it was mine. I laid my Bible on the table, and as I reflected on what I had read, a deep solemnity rested on my mind, and I opened my Bible again, and read the same words with a deep impression that they were mine. And I feel that I have lived to experience something of suffering for Jesus' sake, with as I said before, none but God my Father who could understand my sufferings; all of which I receive as from his kind hand. Although those near and dear may be used as instruments, yet my Father is at the helm, and my sufferings cannot be more than he permits and will cause to work for my good, and his own glory. I feel willing to suffer, and whenever I am inclined to look forward and fear what I may have to suffer, these kind words came right in for my relief (which have been sweetly and powerfully set home to my heart, with the rest of the verse), "Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer."

A little while before the severe sickness of our eldest son, one year ago last spring, one day while I was praying, I was stopped to behold the angels hovering over me, and looking down upon me with pity. O how pitifully did those lovely angels look down upon me. I then understood that a severe trial awaited me, and I plead with the Lord to prepare me to meet it. And about this time I dreamed of crossing some very deep mud, and that I sailed over the deepest of it, and after I got over it, I looked down upon my feet to see if I had been in over shoe, and the tops of my shoes were perfectly dry. I felt confident then that I should be sustained under my affliction, and it was even so. I felt deeply afflicted a few of the first days of the sickness of our dear son, but I was soon enabled by the help of the Lord so fully, and with so much freedom, to commit his case to God that my soul was exceedingly comforted all through his long and severe sickness. To God be all the glory for his loving-kindness and tender mercy toward one so utterly unworthy of his notice.

Your sister in tribulation, Gaysville, Vt. IRENA G. CAMP