A Penitent Return to Christ
By Lorinda S. Carpenter
DEAR BRO. WHITE: I want to tell you what the Lord has done for me. I have heard the voice of the good Shepherd saying, "Come unto me, all ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest;" and as I have obeyed his gentle voice, his sweet blessing has rested upon me, and I have truly felt his gentle hand leading me out of the darkness that has surrounded me, into his marvelous light. And I find the nearer I come to the light the plainer I can see the darkness that I have been in; the plainer I can see my wrongs, and the wrong influence that I have exerted upon those around me. I believe I have felt a godly sorrow for all these past wrongs; that the Lord has forgiven me; but I do not want to leave one stone unturned until I have made entire satisfaction with yourself and all of Christ's followers. I do humbly ask your forgiveness for all that I have ever done that has grieved you or wounded the cause of God in any way. I feel thankful that in all my darkness I have not been left to speak against the work of God, or militate against any proposal made for the advancement of present truth, but have felt it my duty to speak in favor of those who were standing at the head of the work, bearing the burden and heat of the day, although I felt that I was far from living as I should myself. I want to be a whole-hearted Christian. I want to make thorough work for eternal life. I want to free myself from every shackle, and rise with the people of God. I want your prayers. Sometimes my whole being is filled with love and gratitude to God for his preserving care, and then in view of my own unfaithfulness I sink beneath the burden, and sometimes I am left to desponding and despairing feelings. I have been trying to profit by the reproofs given me, and I do know the Lord has helped me. Praise his name! I feel that I can not do too much to counteract my wrongs, and if you have any counsel or advice for me, be assured it will be appreciated. I want to make deep and heart-felt confessions. I have been half-hearted in the cause, have not been in a place to realize its wants, or feel for precious souls around me; and now, dear brother, I mean to zealously repent of all my sins, and feel that godly sorrow which will work a thorough reformation in my life, so that I may ever stand in a place to be willing to deny self for the sake of doing others good. If I know my own heart I now feel willing to make any sacrifice to win souls to the truth. I would again ask your forgiveness for all my past wrongs. I feel that I could wash your feet with my tears, and wipe them with the hair of my head. If it lay in my power I would wipe away every stain that I have made upon the cause of God. I cannot express the gratitude of heart that I feel to the Lord for his long forbearing mercy to me. I feel that I am as a brand plucked from the burning. I can say from a full soul that I love the Lord, his cause, and his dear people. I love you for your faithfulness to me. I can feel to kiss the rod that has brought me where I am. And now I am determined to faithfully perform every known duty. I feel that I cannot do too much for my Saviour who has done so much for me. I want to devote my whole life to his service. I mean that my influence shall be healthy and saving upon those around me. And finally, I will say, I feel like a new convert, a pardoned sinner. The Lord has beheld my mourning and sorrow for sin, and has forgiven me. I want to prove faithful, and with you enjoy eternal life in the kingdom of heaven. Your unworthy sister. LORINDA S. CARPENTER.