Confession and Repentance
By Alex. Ross
Bro. White: It is a little over nineteen years since the sound of the everlasting gospel saluted my ears, and found a welcome place in my poor heart, and nearly that, since I had an acquaintance with you, and the great work in which the great Shepherd has placed you. At that time I felt called upon to bid adieu to earth with its honors, and make a move with the people of God for mount Zion and the holy city. For a number of years I felt the influence of the Holy Spirit, as I lived for it, and the company of holy angels when I did not grieve them away. But for a few years in the past, during the great political excitement, the enemy of all righteousness has well nigh destroyed me, by stirring up old preconceived political opinions, so that I became a blind apologist for slavery, and a sympathizer with the rebellion, which I feel assured is a great sin in the sight of heaven. I had at times convictions of the wrong course I was pursuing, in using language that was unbecoming one professing godliness, and even sinful, until I finally found myself in the lamentable situation as described in Testimony No. 9, which I do fully endorse. I cannot say as Nathan said to David, "Thou art the man," but do acknowledge with all my heart, I am the man; and that letter to A. R. in Testimony No. 9, describes my situation far more correctly than I can, which I acknowledge to be just and true. I do thank the Lord, and also Sr. White, for the testimony, and the kindness of the closing remarks of the letter. Dear Bro. Andrews is with us at Roosevelt, and the Lord is with him. With the help of the Lord and the brethren, whose good counsel I have too often rejected, I will make amends. I feel that my whole being is faced about, and I am resolved to be an overcomer by the word of my testimony, and through the blood of the Lamb. I do humbly crave pardon of all my brethren and sisters in the Lord. Pray for me, and I will try to help myself, and would say with all my heart, "O God, my inmost soul convert,
And deeply on my thoughtful heart
Eternal things impress.
Cause me to feel their solemn weight,
And tremble on the brink of fate,
And wake to righteousness."
Roosevelt, N. Y., March 23, 1863.