My Experience by S. B. Gowell

The Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Jan 17, 1865

My Experience.

By S. B. Gowell

BRO. WHITE: I feel that it is a duty that I owe both to you and to the cause, to give you a little of my experience, hoping that thereby some may be benefited. In the month of March 1854, I first made a public profession of religion under the labors of Mr. Carpenter, pastor of the State Street church of this city, and united with that church. I trust I did it honestly in the fear of the Lord. I believed him then, and still believe him to be a humble and devoted servant of the Lord. But soon we were obliged to give him up, he having a call to Brooklyn, N. Y., where he still remains. And as we for some time had no regular pastor, I improved my opportunity of going into other places of worship occasionally. Providentially one evening as I was passing the hall where the Millerites, as I then called them, were holding meetings, my attention was arrested by the voice of one who seemed very earnest in his subject. I ventured to go in out of curiosity and hear for myself. The speaker spoke from Heb. xi, 10, Abraham looked for a city, &c., and to my surprise I was very much interested, and concluded if that was Millerism I wanted to be a Millerite.

From that sermon a new era dawned in my religious experience. Here commenced my investigation of the Bible, one point after another; as for instance the sleep of the dead, the destruction of the wicked, the second personal coming of Christ, &c., though I had previously read Rev. John Cummings' works, of London, and some others on this subject.

The Bible now seemed like a new book to me. I rejoiced in its perusal as never before. It now became a lamp to my feet and a light to my path, and God's people, even the despised Adventists seemed precious to me. But I did not immediately leave my own place of worship to attend the Advent meetings. I went in occasionally when they had preaching, until it seemed more like home than my own meetings, and finally attended their meetings altogether. But I was not to stop here, for the path of the just is as a bright and shining light that shines more and more unto the perfect day.

I was now free from prejudice so that I could hear any one who claimed to preach the gospel. In the summer of 1860, I first heard preaching in regard to the Sabbath. This was a new idea to me; but I thought I would search the Scriptures for yourself [sic], as did the Bereans, and see whether these things were so. I felt from the first sermon I heard on it that the seventh-day was the right day, and if so, I must keep it when I was convinced of the fact. But I was slow to learn, and then the cross, if it was so, how could I take it up. And again, the sacrifice I should be obliged to make in my business, closing my dry good's store, and losing a portion of my trade, and more than all the rest, my friends. All these stood in my way; but I remembered the saying of Christ, that unless we are willing to forsake even father and mother, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, and all for his sake we are not worthy of him.

I then tried to believe the no law position, but found that that would not answer, for Paul says, By the law is the knowledge of sin; and John says, Sin is the transgression of the law, and if there was no law there could be no sin; for we could not transgress a law that was abolished or done away. And further, if the law could have been done away there would have been no necessity of Christ's dying; and finally, Christ came to redeem them that were under the law, a particular law. Now as sin is the transgression of the law, even in this dispensation, and if we have a different law to give us a knowledge of sin, from what they had, then it follows that we have no Saviour—for he died for the transgression of only one law.

Well it began to look plain to me and more especially after reading Bro. Andrews' Sabbath History which made the thing look so clear that I could no longer doubt in regard to the seventh-day being the true Sabbath. My objections were now all taken away, and I was like a mariner on the ocean without a compass, yet did not feel ready to act up to my convictions of truth in regard to keeping the day. And what to do I did not know. I did not feel that I could ask God to bless me or seek protection from him so long as I was unwilling to obey him and keep his Sabbath.

But oh! I must drink a bitter cup in consequence of my unwillingness to yield to what I knew to be likely. I must feel the chastening rod of Him who does not willingly afflict, but for our profit. And I have many times since, thought that nothing else would have humbled and led me to take a stand with those, I believe are giving the last notes of warning to prepare a people for translation at the coming of Jesus. Affliction must come. In Aug. 1863, our little Ella, our only daughter, twenty months old, was taken sick, and from the first I felt impressed that she would not recover, and stated my convictions. Medical skill was employed, and every effort made to relieve the little sufferer, but all in vain. Death had marked its victim, and we must give her up to see her no more on the shores of time. Earth had now lost all its charms for me, and for the first time I felt like consecrating myself and my all to the Lord; resolving henceforth to follow him whithersoever he would lead me, according to the best light I could get.

I then commenced keeping the Sabbath of the Bible and from that time to the present have not had a shadow of a doubt in regard to its being the right day, although some tried to influence me to give it up and said I was insane; also that I would think better of it and within six months give it up.

But right here I must say, it was my misfortune to connect myself with a class of Sabbath-keepers who had separated themselves from the body—as I then was unacquainted with those here belonging with the body. In fact I did not know much about the body any way, and what little I had heard was calculated to prejudice me against them and led me to believe they had all backslidden and gone into Babylon again. Well, you see where I was, only hearing one side, and supposing it was all true.

The time came for their first Quarterly Conference after I joined them. Elder Hancock being present, took a prominent position and led off. I can assure you I began to get my eyes open seeing him go through with his Spirit operations as he called them

—swimming in the Spirit, dancing in the Spirit and to cap the climax preach a sermon on the importance of Sabbath keepers' adopting the American costume, which has brought great reproach upon the cause of present truth, although I know a few who wear it, to be humble, devoted and pious souls and who would not understandingly do anything to reproach the cause.

Our next conference was at North Berwick, Me. Here we first learned of another company of Sabbath keepers in the West, who had branched off from the body, Eld. G. Cranmer being their leader. We also learned in regard to the paper called the Hope of Israel. Our company seemed now quite encouraged to think they could have a paper through which to communicate, and several subscribed, myself amongst the number. But it did not come up to my expectations. I was disappointed in many particulars. The zeal and piety of some of the writers seemed to consist in slur-ring the visions of sister White. Notwithstanding all this, we had got our expectations raised very high in regard to some of them, especially Eld. Cranmer, and at our next conference in North Berwick, concluded to give them an invitation to send a delegate either Cranmer or Dille to our Nov. conference. They accepted the invitation and decided to send Eld. Cranmer. The time drew on for the conference to commence and C. arrived. Well, in the first place we found him addicted to the filthy habit of chewing tobacco. He did not heed the injunction of the apostle Paul, 2 Cor. xii, 1, in regard to cleansing ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of the Lord. In the second place he made several false statements, as can be proved in regard to the dealings of the body with some who refused to submit to order and discipline and about other matters. And in the third place he does not answer Paul's description of a minister, 2 Tim. ii, 15, although he claims to have been in the ministry thirty five years. I know I speak the minds of his best friends here, when I say that every individual without an exception was greatly disappointed in him, and they have no confidence in him. His presence at our conference did more to open the eyes of the deceived than any one could have imagined beforehand; and also struck a death-blow to secession and fanaticism in Portland and vicinity. And a certain individual who has been very zealous amongst the disaffected ones, said to me that he had no confidence in their cause, and had not had for some time.

The leaven was now at work and all began to see that our building was on a sandy foundation, so we did not appoint another conference, and even gave up our meetings. I think nearly all now in Portland and vicinity, are convinced of their error and will profit by past experience.

But to go back a little. I first saw Vol. 1. Spiritual Gifts at Bro. Davis', N. Berwick, during the first conference, I attended there after I commenced keeping the Sabbath, and so prejudiced was I that I resolved not to read it. I took it up occasionally, and read here and there and was surprised, interested and prejudiced at the same time, but found it so good that I could not keep from reading it. I finally purchased Vols. 1 and 2, of Bro. Loughborough, and read them, and although some tried to prejudice my mind against them, I was instructed and interested. I began to investigate and look at facts on both sides. I could see inconsistencies on the part of some of our number, and the spirit that they exhibited against the body and especially the visions of sister White. Then I could see the union and harmony and system and order that existed among the body. We must take into consideration also that we were dependent on the S. D. A. Publishing Association for publications and all the valuable information that we get on present truth. And more than all this, I was led to look at the sacrifice that Bro. and sister White have made, and others connected with the cause, while opposition has come upon them from every quarter, and they have had discouragements of every kind to contend with, as for instance, the Messenger party, the Hope party, and fanaticism in every shape, and almost everything else that the Devil could invent. But notwithstanding all these things, the cause has moved steadily on, and I am at last fully convinced and forced to see that God is in the work, and sustaining by his almighty power those who are now joined heart and hand in carrying forward this glorious cause of the proclamation of the third angel's message.

The cause even here in Portland, looks encouraging, and a good class of people seem to be interested under the labors of Bro. Cornell who is giving a course of lectures here. I feel, for one, encouraged, and that the truth is destined to triumph over error and fanaticism.

And here let me say again, that I rejoice in the testimonies of sister White. It seems to me that even those who are prejudiced against them, must see that the fruit of them is good; and we are to know a tree by its fruit.

The truth looks good and I can truly say in the language of the Psalmist, My delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law do I meditate day and night. Backsliders and cold-hearted professors talk about the Sabbath being a yoke of bondage; but to me it is a delight, the holy of the Lord honorable, and I expect in the glorious future to be fed with the heritage of Jacob, our father.

I feel that I have great reason to rejoice that the Lord has been so good to me, and finally led me to take a stand with his true people. My whole soul is bound up in the prosperity of the cause. May the Lord open the eyes of the careless and indifferent and lead them to humble themselves under his mighty hand that they may be hid in the day of the Lord's anger; and may he abundantly bless all his faithful people and soon reward them with a crown of righteousness that fadeth not away, is my earnest and sincere prayer. Yours Truly, S. B. GOWELL. Portland, Me., Dec. 30, 1864.