The Cure of the Drunkard.
A MAN, long noted for intemperate habits, was induced by Rev. John Abbott to sign the pledge "in his own way," which he did in these words. "I pledge myself to drink no more intoxicating drinks for one year." Few believed he could keep it, but near the end of the year he again appeared at a temperance meeting, without once having touched a drop. "Are you not going to sign again?" asked Mr. Abbott. "Yes," replied he, "if I can do it in my own way," and, accordingly he wrote, "I sign this pledge for nine hundred and ninety-nine years, and if I live to that time, I intend to take out a life-lease!" A few days after, he called upon the tavern keeper, who welcomed him back to his old haunt. "Oh! landlord," said he, as in pain, "I have such a lump on my side!" "That's because you've stopped drinking," said the landlord, "you won't live long if you keep on." "Will drink take the lump away?" "Yes, and if you don't drink you'll soon have a lump on the other side. Come, let's drink together," and he poured out two glasses of whisky. "I guess I won't drink," said the former inebriate, "especially if keeping the pledge will bring another lump, for it isn't very hard to bear, after all," and with this he drew the lump, a roll of greenbacks from his side pocket, and walked off, leaving the landlord to his reflections.