Balancing Harsh Discipline with a Mother's Tender Affection

When a father is too severe in his discipline, it is a duty and a necessity for a mother to manifest tender affection to counteract that harshness2T 260.1+1. A wife who is tenderhearted may naturally seek to move to the opposite extreme of a husband's severity, but this is often a direct result of his wrong management and lack of Christlike tenderness2T 260.1. It is through the blending of authority with affection that a home is properly governed, and a mother's influence can help soothe a child who has been agitated by a father's loud-voiced commands or gloomy expressionsAH 307.3+1. While parents must be united, a mother's role in providing kindness and love is essential to prevent children from being driven into Satan's net by unreasonable exactionsAH 307.3+1.

Your wife is tenderhearted and easily agitated. She feels your harshness of discipline, and it leads her to the opposite extreme. She seeks to counteract your severity, and you charge this as a great lack in her of doing her dut...— 2T 260.1 (1885)

Manifest Neither Blind Affection nor Undue Severity—While we are not to indulge blind affection, neither are we to manifest undue se...— AH 307.3 (1952)

...be no loud-voiced commands, no unkind, exasperating words, no harsh, severe, or gloomy expressions. Help them by the manifestation of forbearance and sympathy. Strengthen them by loving words and kindly deeds to overcome their defects of character— CT 116.1 (1913)

... lack of decision. He has not been restrained and subdued as he should have been. This has at times called forth great severity from the father on account of the indulgent course of the mother and grandmother. There has been a wrong all around, and the child has thought his father too severe...— 1LtMs, Ms 4, 1860, par. 16 (1844)

The Lord desires for your home to be a place of peace where every word is refined by His Spirit25LtMs, Ms 7, 1912, par. 8+1. May you find great joy as you and your spouse work together to reflect the gentleness of Christ to your little onesAH 198.1+1.