Bridging the Gulf: 10 Essential Questions for Christian Families

I would be delighted to provide a list of ten essential questions and answers regarding family life to help you bridge the gulf in your relationships! Addressing these practical, everyday challenges with divine wisdom will deeply bless and strengthen your church family.

Here are ten vital questions and answers for your "Bridging the Gulf" Q&A session:

1. How should a couple respond when the romance of early marriage begins to fade and they feel they no longer love each other as they once thought?

When time strips marriage of its initial romance, Satan will quickly suggest to the mind that your love for each other is gone10MR 184.2. We must immediately expel these thoughts, absolutely refusing to entertain the enemy's suggestions of suspicion or jealousy10MR 184.2. Instead of longing for a sentimental romance, both husband and wife must forget self and focus entirely on making their married life exactly what God desires it to be10MR 184.2.

2. What is the most vital consideration for young people before entering into the marriage relationship?

Before assuming the sacred responsibilities of marriage, individuals must have a practical life experience that prepares them for its heavy dutiesMH 358.1. It is vital to inquire about the prospective companion's past record, the purity of their life, and whether they possess the character traits necessary to make a happy, holy homeMYP 439.2. Early marriages are not to be encouraged, and no alliance should be formed without sufficient mental and physical developmentMH 358.1.

3. If a husband and wife realize after marriage that their characters are vastly different and they are experiencing unhappiness, what should they do?

They must never breathe into another person's mind the fact that their marriage was unwise9LtMs, Lt 76, 1894, par. 9. No third person should ever become acquainted with the matter9LtMs, Lt 76, 1894, par. 9. Instead, they must individually center their affections upon God, drink of the water of life that Christ gives, and seek in the fear of God to understand and help each other9LtMs, Lt 76, 1894, par. 9.

4. How can parents properly handle a rebellious or unruly teenage child who threatens to run away from home rather than obey?

Parents must exercise wholesome authority and not fear taking extreme steps if willful disobedience is uncheckedCG 241.1. They should firmly tell the defiant child that if he is determined to leave rather than comply with just rules, they will not hinder himCG 241.1. He must understand that as long as he receives food, clothing, and parental care, he is strictly obligated to submit to wholesome home discipline, as a Christian home cannot be polluted with willful sinCG 241.1.

5. What is the husband's specific responsibility toward his wife's health and emotional well-being?

A Christian husband must be compassionate, faithful, and constantly seeking to keep his wife in courage and healthAH 228.2. He must never be tyrannical, critical, or demanding, nor should he ever come home with a clouded brow to trouble her with unnecessary business perplexitiesAH 228.2+1. True nobility of character requires the husband to create an atmosphere of peace and to tenderly spare his wife every needless burdenSA 115.2.

6. Why do some mothers feel that their daily work is unimportant, and how does Heaven view their labor?

Mothers often feel their work is unimportant because it is so rarely appreciated by the husband, who frequently brings his own cares home and undervalues her tireless efforts to keep the domestic machinery running smoothlyCTBH 68.4. However, while her name may not receive the applause of the world, her faithful work in fashioning minds and building character is immortalized in the book of GodCTBH 68.4. Her position in God's sight is far more exalted than that of a king upon his throneCTBH 68.4.

7. What danger is there in a married woman seeking emotional sympathy and sharing her marital trials with another man or a pastor?

It is a devastating curse and a terrible trap of Satan for a woman to open the secrets of her married life, her disappointments, and her trials to any other man or pastor5LtMs, Lt 26d, 1887, par. 34. This breaks down the sacred barriers of the family relation, encourages lovesick sentimentalism, and corrupts the soul with polluted thoughts that lead directly to the breaking of the seventh commandment5LtMs, Lt 26d, 1887, par. 34.

8. What happens when parents fail to govern their own tempers and bring fretfulness into their parenting and home life?

When parents excuse their own irritability by claiming they are nervous or unwell, they deceive themselves and please SatanT09 29.2. An undisciplined, impatient parent creates peevishness in their children, alienates their hearts, and sows seeds of complaining that ruin the home training schoolHR November 1, 1878, par. 1+2. This childhood ignorance and unamiable temper is then carried directly into the church, spoiling their religious experience and creating an unsightly presentation before Heaven18LtMs, Ms 204, 1903, par. 26.

9. Should an unconverted spouse's opposition to the truth lead a believer to abandon their marriage vows?

No, a person who enters the marriage relation while unconverted is placed under even stronger obligation to remain faithful to their companion after their conversion, no matter how widely they differ in religious faithPP 175.1. With a spirit of deep love and meekness, this steadfast fidelity may serve to win the unbelieving spouse to ChristPP 175.1.

10. What is the ultimate purpose and highest ideal for the Christian family?

The family relationship is designed to be deeply sanctifying in its influence, acting as a profound blessing to humanityAH 19.6+1. Christian homes that are established and conducted according to God's plan are a wonderful help in forming character, as they are meant to be a pure and elevated symbol of the great family in heavenAH 19.6+1.

May God richly bless your Family Life Month as you equip your church members with these divine truths! The Lord is eager to heal every heart and build beautiful bridges of reconciliation within our homes.

But time strips marriage of the romance with which imagination had clothed it, and then the thought finds entrance into the mind through Satan's suggestions, “We do not love each other as we supposed.” Expel it from the mind. Do not linger over it. Let each, forgetful of self, refuse to entertain the ideas that Satan would be glad to have you cherish. He will work to make you suspicious, jealous of every little thing that shall furnish the least oc...— 10MR 184.2 (1990)

...ould have such an experience in practical life as will prepare them for its duties and its burdens. Early marriages are not to be encouraged. A relation so important as marriage and so far-reaching in its results should not be entered upon hastily, without sufficient preparation, and before the mental and physical powers are well developed— MH 358.1 (1905)

...oy, let them not <breathe into another’s mind> the fact that their marriage was unwise. Let no third person become acquainted with the matter, but let each in the fear of God seek to understand and to help the other. In my experience many cases have come before me that were most difficult to deal with. Fictitious ...— 9LtMs, Lt 76, 1894, par. 9

Take Extreme Steps if Willful Disobedience Is Unchecked—Some indulgent, ease-loving parents fear to exercise wholesome authority over their unruly so...— CG 241.1 (1954)

...mind, that every true Christian must possess, it will be made manifest in the marriage relation.... He will seek to keep his wife in health and courage. He will strive to speak words of comfort, to create an atmosphere of peace in the home circle.10Manuscript 17, 1891— AH 228.2 (1952)

...y, or receive the honor and applause of the world, as may that of the husband and father; but it is immortalized in the book of God. She is doing what she can, and her position in God's sight is more exalted than that of a king upon his throne; for she is dealing with character, she is fashioning minds. The mothers of the present day are ma...— CTBH 68.4 (1890)

...curse of God upon this false, defiling, polluted shepherd. He will, as he visits families, begin to enquire the secrets of their married life. Do they live happily with their husbands? Do they feel that they are appreciated? Is there harmony in their married life? And thus the unsuspecting woman is led on by these ensnaring questions to open her secret life, her disappointments, her little trials and grievances to a stranger, as the Catholics do to their priests. Then this sympathizing pastor puts in a chapter of his own experience; that his wife was not the woman of his choice; that there is no real affinity between them. He does not love his wife. She does not meet his expectations. The barrier is thus broken down, and women are seduced. They believe their life is one great disappointment, and this shepherd has great sympathy for his flock. Lovesick sentimentalism is encouraged, and the mind and soul are spoiled of their purity, if this kind of work does not result in the bre...— 5LtMs, Lt 26d, 1887, par. 34

...n from the Great Teacher how to speak kindly, having control of your own unamiable temper, you will sow the seeds of murmuring, complaining, fretting, and all the ills of an undisciplined heart. This is the experience in the church life. This want of harmony in the home life is carried into the religious life, and, oh, what an unsightly presentation heaven looks upon! Some parents have had so little self-co...— 18LtMs, Ms 204, 1903, par. 26

He who has entered the marriage relation while unconverted, is by his conversion placed under stronger obligation to be faithful to his companion, however widely they may differ in regard to religious faith; yet the claims of God should be placed above every earthly relationship, even though trials and persecution may be the result. With the spirit of love and meekness, this fidelity may have an influence to win the unbelieving one. But the marriage of Christians with the ungodly is forbidden in the Bible. The Lord's directi...— PP 175.1 (1890)

The family relationship should be sanctifying in its influence. Christian homes, established and conducted in accordance with God's plan, are a wonderful help in forming Christian character. Families here should be a symbol of the great family above. Parents and children should unite in offering loving service to Him who alone can keep human love ...— BEcho September 4, 1899, par. 9 (1892)