Ellen White's Perspective on Marriage in the Last Days

Marriage in these last days is a solemn matter that requires earnest study and deep spiritual discernment, as many unions formed at this time prove to be a mistake that hinders spiritual growth and usefulness16MR 268.3+2.

The Nature of Marriage in the Last Days

The current time is characterized by a lack of fear of God and a prevalence of selfish works, much like the days before the flood when people were eating, drinking, and marrying without regard for the impending judgment Matthew 24:38-39RH September 25, 1888, par. 4. In these perilous times, many follow the impulses of unconsecrated hearts rather than candidly considering the work they might do for the truthSpTB16 17.1+1. While marriage has never been forbidden except in cases where it would clearly result in misery, it is often advised that individuals counsel together and seek God's will before entering such a life-long bond12MR 66.2+1.

Spiritual Impact and Responsibilities

• Paralysis of Growth: Many who enter marriage in these last days cease to make advancement in spiritual things, and their usefulness in the cause of God often ends with their marriageSpTB16 17.1+1.

• Hindrance to Ministry: Those who might have been laborers for God sometimes find themselves entangled in courtships that result in a loss of interest in the canvassing field or other branches of God's workSpTB16 17.1+1.

• Rearing Children: By choosing to rear children in these last days of uncertainty and peril, some place themselves in positions where they cannot labor effectively for the LordSpTB16 17.1.

• Disappointment: While the young often feel marriage is the crowning period of happiness, they frequently find sadness, disappointment, and anguish where they expected peace2LtMs, Lt 41a, 1874, par. 22.

Guidelines for Believers

One should not enter into a marriage engagement unless there are good and sufficient reasons for it, specifically if the cause of God can be better advanced by the union6LtMs, Ms 19a, 1890, par. 14. It is essential to deny selfish inclination and lift the cross for Christ's sake, focusing on the work for which one is being educated6LtMs, Ms 19a, 1890, par. 14. We must also be vigilant against the "accursed thing" in the camp, as pure angels cannot minister to those who advocate the law of God while secretly breaking it through unholy passions and underhanded coursesTSB 236.3.

Divorce and Remarriage

The standard for marriage and divorce is set by the Word of God, which teaches that what God has joined together, man should not put asunder Matthew 19:61MCP 219.6. There is no moral right for an individual to marry another if they have left a lawful spouse after giving great provocation, especially when the legal bond of the first marriage remainsFBS 50.2. If a divorce occurs for causes other than those mentioned in the scriptures, the subsequent marriage is considered an act of adultery Matthew 19:9TSB 271.2. All are called to keep the commandments and love their neighbor as themselves to enter into eternal life Matthew 19:17-1916MR 268.3.

To determine if a marriage union is appropriate when both individuals love God, one must first examine if the union will help both parties move heavenward, increase their love for God, and enlarge their sphere of usefulness in this lifeFE 104.3. Even when both profess to be Christians, the marriage is inappropriate if it involves a departure from the strict path of rectitude or involves underhanded practices that dishonor parents18MR 309.3+1.

Appropriate Conditions for Marriage

• Sanctified Affection: The heart should possess only pure, sanctified affection that is more heavenly than earthly and is worthy of a follower of Christ18MR 301.1+1.

• Maturity and Preparedness: Both parties should have reached a maturity of judgment and strength of character before entertaining thoughts of marriageTSB 21.1.

• Common Sense and Prayer: Good common sense must be exercised, and the union should be entered into only after careful examination and moving forward in the fear of GodFE 104.3.

• Adherence to Scriptural Principles: Marriage is holy and honorable only when it follows exalted scriptural principles and has an eye single to the glory of God18MR 301.1+1.

• Practical Life Skills: A young woman should be educated in the common, practical, daily duties of life and have a trade to be independent before taking on marriage responsibilitiesTSB 21.1+1.

Inappropriate and Dangerous Situations

• Neglect of Religious Privileges: It is dangerous and inappropriate to be in the society of a chosen companion at the sacrifice of prayer hours or religious meetingsPH159 56.1.

• Early and Premature Attachments: Early anxiety concerning courtship and marriage is imprudent, as it diverts the mind from work and study, producing a demoralizing influenceTSB 19.3+1.

• Deception and Secrecy: Any courtship maintained through secret communications or meetings without the knowledge of parents is a violation of integrity and is condemned by the BibleAH 57.3+2.

• Impulse and Passion: Following blind passion and impulse rather than the counsel of God's Word leads to misery and dishonors GodTSB 16.2+2.

• Infatuation and Idleness: Relationships prompted by a "love-sick sentimentalism" or a desire for romance over practical duties are inappropriate and result in a "low cast of morality"3T 151.3+2.

The Standard of Behavior

Every action and word in a relationship should be of such a character that you would be willing for holy angels to look upon them and register them in the books of heaven4LtMs, Ms 4a, 1885, par. 77+1. We are commanded to abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul and to set our affection on things above 1 Peter 2:11+1. True happiness is found when the Bible is made the guide, teaching individuals to preserve integrity of character and practice no deceptionFE 102.1+1. Blessed are those who do His commandments, for they shall have a right to the tree of life Revelation 22:14.