Honoring Parents and In-Laws: Insights from Ellen White

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Yes, Ellen White explicitly applies the principles of the fifth commandment to the treatment of in-laws, emphasizing that marriage does not release an individual from the sacred obligation to honor parents or the responsibility to care for them21MR 106.4+2.

Honoring Parents and In-Laws in Marriage

The marriage vow must be sacredly fulfilled, yet it should never involve a transgression of the fifth commandment18LtMs, Lt 157, 1903, par. 2. When a person marries, they should ideally become a son or daughter who acts as a help and a blessing to the entire family, including their spouse's parents18LtMs, Lt 157, 1903, par. 2.

• The Responsibility of Care: Children are required by God to provide for the necessities of their parents and tenderly care for them in their old ageST January 3, 1900, par. 4. This duty is so binding that neglecting a mother-in-law or father-in-law in their necessity can bring the frown of God upon a coupleT22 164.1.

• Respecting Parental Wishes: A son or daughter should not select a companion without first consulting their parents, as such a step materially affects the happiness of the parentsCCh 116.3+2. Urging a potential spouse to disregard the counsel of God-fearing parents is an influence toward breaking the fifth commandment4LtMs, Lt 3, 1886, par. 16.

• Living Arrangements and Counsel: While a husband is the head of his home, he is encouraged to harmonize with his mother-in-law, as her advice and counsel can be a great blessing15LtMs, Lt 70, 1900, par. 5+1. However, if a parent-in-law's spirit and habits are not in accordance with God's will, it may not be a duty to have them live as a member of the family18LtMs, Lt 174, 1903, par. 5.

The Binding Nature of the Commandment

The obligation to "Honor thy father and thy mother" is a perpetual duty that does not cease at any specific time or age Exodus 20:1218LtMs, Lt 157, 1903, par. 2+1.

• A Standard for All Ages: The fifth commandment is binding upon sons and daughters even when they are "old and gray-headed"ST February 28, 1878, par. 6. No matter how high a person’s station in life becomes, they never rise above the obligation to obey this preceptST February 28, 1878, par. 6.

• The Example of Christ: Jesus, while on the cross, provided an example of this duty by ensuring his mother was cared for, and he rebuked the Pharisees for using religious traditions—such as "Corban"—to avoid supporting their parents Matthew 15:4-6ST January 3, 1900, par. 4+1.

• Consequences of Disrespect: Disrespecting or neglecting the claims of parents is a sin registered against many youth and can lead to a curse rather than the promised blessing7LtMs, Ms 18, 1891, par. 1+2.

When Commands Conflict

While the fifth commandment is the first one with a promise, it must always be kept in harmony with the rest of God's law Ephesians 6:2-313MR 83.2+1.

• God's Authority is Supreme: If a parent or in-law requires a child to break the law of God, the child must respectfully choose to obey God more than man13MR 83.2+2.

• Maintaining Respect: Even when a child must refuse an unscriptural command from a parent, they must do so in meekness and love, showing the utmost respect and continuing to care for their temporal needsST February 28, 1878, par. 6+1.

The fifth commandment stands at the head of the precepts regarding our duty to our fellow man, and its fulfillment is a vital part of preparing a character fit for the kingdom of heaven13MR 83.2+2.