The Scriptural Path to Reconciliation: Matthew 18 Steps

It is a foundational principle that dealing with offenses between brethren, especially those in ministry together, must strictly follow the guidelines established by Christ to ensure reconciliation and preserve the unity of the church 🙏.

The definitive path for resolving conflicts and addressing faults among brethren is prescribed by the Saviour in the eighteenth chapter of Matthew3TT 200.1.

The Scriptural Steps for Reconciliation

This process is designed to handle misunderstandings and personal injuries with the utmost care and privacy7T 261.2+1.

1. Private Admonition: If a brother trespasses against you, you must first go to him and tell him his fault between the two of you alone Matthew 18:1517LtMs, Ms 26, 1902, par. 36+1. This personal approach, carried out in the spirit of Christ, will often remove the difficulty and gain your brother as a friend7T 261.2+1. The goal is always reconciliation, not condemnationRH July 21, 1904, par. 5.

2. Taking Witnesses: If the brother refuses to hear you, you must then take one or two spiritual witnesses with you, so that every word may be established Matthew 18:16CCh 257.2. These witnesses should be spiritually minded individuals who can appeal to the erring one in regard to the wrong, potentially enlightening his mind as he sees their agreementCCh 257.2. Even at this stage, the appeal remains private and aims to win him to repentancePTUK July 16, 1896, page 450.1.

3. Telling the Church: If the individual neglects to hear the witnesses, the matter is then told to the church17LtMs, Ms 26, 1902, par. 36. If he refuses to listen even to this third, public appeal, he must then be treated as an outsider, or as a heathen man and a publican Matthew 18:1717LtMs, Ms 26, 1902, par. 36+1.

The Required Spirit of Restoration

In executing this crucial work, the attitude and motivation of the one seeking reconciliation are paramount, prioritizing healing and unity7T 264.1.

• Love and Meekness: When approaching the erring one, your heart should be filled with Christ's love and sympathy, reasoning calmly and quietly7T 261.2+1. You must speak in a way that appeals to their better judgment, using meekness, kindness, and mercyPaM 268.1. The apostle directs that if a person is overtaken in a fault, those who are spiritual should restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering themselves lest they also be tempted Galatians 6:15LtMs, Lt 19, 1887, par. 9.

• Focus on Gaining a Soul: Remember that the individual who converts the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death and hide a multitude of sins James 5:207T 261.2+1.

• Preparing Your Heart: Before offering your gift or service, if you remember that your brother has anything against you, you must first go and be reconciled to your brother Matthew 5:23-24RH July 21, 1904, par. 5+1. This requires personal humility and setting your own heart in order1T 165.2+1.

Dangers to Avoid in Ministry

Ministers and brethren working together must be especially vigilant against behaviors that sow discord and scatter the flock Matthew 12:30.

• Avoiding Accusation and Fault-finding: We must not seek spot or stain in others to report, for this is not the work the Lord has appointed17LtMs, Ms 26, 1902, par. 36. A disposition to criticize and condemn others is the most effectual hindrance to growth in gracePaM 268.1. When Christians accuse and condemn their brethren, they show they are in the service of the accuser, planting roots of bitterness5LtMs, Lt 19, 1887, par. 9.

• Protecting Unity: Satan constantly seeks to introduce distrust, alienation, and malice among God's peopleTT 162.3. Those who find fault with brethren and magnify their trials are inadvertently leaving the impression that it is unprofitable to serve GodST February 3, 1888, par. 9. By indulging in fault-finding, individuals place themselves on Satan’s side, creating doubt and suspicion among God's childrenRH January 6, 1903, par. 6.

• The Consequence of Dissension: When brethren engage in wrangling, envy, or jealousy, they fail to bring the saving power of truth to bear upon unbelievers, and people become disgusted with religion5LtMs, Lt 19, 1887, par. 9. When those in ministry are united in their plans of action and effort, they can faithfully reprove and rebuke wrong, causing it to wither1T 212.3.

We must use voice, words, and talent to take heed and work in harmony with Christ, always seeking to clear the moral atmosphere of the soul and gain reconciliation20LtMs, Lt 350, 1905, par. 3.