How to Resolve Tension and Restore Love

Resolving tension with someone you love begins with a humble heart, honest self-examination, and a commitment to prioritize harmony over being rightPaM 268.2+1. True peace is found when we surrender our own will to ensure the happiness of others and follow the divine pattern of reconciliationAY 57.2+1.

The Path to Reconciliation 🕊️

• Prioritize the relationship over the conflict: If there is a grievance, you must pause other spiritual or social activities to first be reconciled to her Matthew 5:23-24RH January 19, 1905, par. 10. This duty is so vital that gifts and offerings are not accepted by God until the human relationship is made right18LtMs, Ms 89, 1903, par. 7.

• Seek a private conversation: Instead of discussing the tension with others, go to her alone to consider the points of difference prayerfully and in a Christlike spirit Matthew 18:1515MR 298.1+1.

• Counsel together in love: Approach her with a disposition to compare views rather than to argue15MR 298.1. One of the brightest witnesses of true religion is the unity and harmony that exist between individualsPaM 268.2.

• Sacrifice your own way: You must learn the important lesson of not always having your own way, but sacrificing your will to gratify and make her happyAY 57.2+1.

Internal Heart Work ❤️

• Examine your own motives: Before attempting to correct her, critically search your own heart and analyze your feelings to see if you are cherishing wrong feelings or an accusing spiritRH April 1, 1902, par. 9+2.

• Control your temperament: Learn your own faults and what makes you feel unpleasantly afterward, then strive to shun those causesAY 57.2+1. A harsh, unfair, or exacting spirit grieves the Spirit of ChristPaM 268.2.

• Cultivate gentleness: In all social relations, we must work on the principles of honesty, true courtesy, kindness, and gentleness18MR 337.5. The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated James 3:17GW 185.3.

Restoring the Bond 🔗

• Acknowledge and right your wrongs: If you have defrauded her of tenderness or compassion, make every effort in your power to right that wrong nowRH January 4, 1881, par. 11. Humbling your soul and acting your part with humility allows for healing to be poured into the mind and spirit24LtMs, Ms 110, 1909, par. 7.

• Avoid the "accusing spirit": Watching for spots and stains in another's character only leads to dissension and wranglingPaM 268.2. Instead, seek to bind her heart to yours with the "silken cords of love"CG 86.2+1.

• Center your lives on Christ: The secret of true unity is union with Christ; as you both approach the Center, you will naturally approach one another15MR 301.2. When you are both united with Him, you will surely be united with each other in the faith15MR 301.2+1.

• Pray together: Meet together for prayer to receive an unction from the Holy One, as the Lord is present in such small companies to deepen the love in your hearts8MR 190.2+2.

If after doing everything in your power to make peace, harmony cannot be effected, leave the matter with the Lord24LtMs, Lt 82, 1909, par. 1. Remember that love is the fulfilling of the law and is described as suffering long and being kind 1 Corinthians 13:4-10ARSH August 29, 1854, page 21.21.