How to Address Potential Offense with Christian Kindness

You should approach the situation by seeking a private, kind, and frank conversation to heal any potential breach, as misunderstandings are often resolved when matters are spoken of in the spirit of Christian love15MR 153.4+1. True Christian courtesy is a kindness shown to all, and it is your duty to be pitiful, courteous, and tenderly guarding of the feelings of othersAH 422.4+1.

Seek a Private Conversation

When there is a possibility of a difficulty between you and another, the divine rule is to settle the matter privately rather than letting it grow into a larger report15MR 153.4+1.

• The Gospel Rule: Go to the person in kindness and love to seek an understanding; by talking with them alone, you may gain them without exposing their frailties to others Matthew 18:15RH November 7, 1912, par. 2.

• Avoid Hasty Strife: Do not go forth hastily to strive or debate your cause before others, but speak with your neighbor himself to avoid putting them to shame Proverbs 25:8-93TT 200.3.

• A Spirit of Tenderness: If a misunderstanding has arisen, it can often be healed through Christian tenderness and an explanation that is free from a retaliatory spirit15MR 153.4+1.

Manifest Christlike Attributes

Your manner in approaching them is as important as the words you choose, for the power of speech is a precious talent meant to represent your divine CompanionCM 33.1.

• True Politeness: Real refinement consists of consideration for others and is received only under the working of the Holy SpiritAH 422.4+1.

• Gentleness and Affability: Be educated in patience, kindness, and affability, remembering that harsh or unkind words are never approved by ChristCM 33.1.

• Humility: The teacher of truth must possess a Christlike deportment, manifesting kindness and courtesy to win confidence and respectCSW 174.2+1.

• Self-Forgetfulness: Be on the watch to cheer others and lighten their burdens through acts of unselfish love, as the neglect of these little courtesies makes up much of life's wretchedness2MR 111.3+1.

Maintain a Peaceful Atmosphere

If you are unsure of their feelings, let your presence be a witness for the truth through a well-ordered life and godly conversationAH 422.4+1.

• Create a Pure Atmosphere: Purity in speech and a peaceful, restful deportment encourage others in the upward pathAH 16.3+1.

• Be a Peacemaker: Cherish the spirit of Christ to become a peacemaker, which will cause your own soul to flourish and make you a blessing to everyone around you2T 51.1.

• Preferring Others: Make the apostolic injunction to "in honor prefer one another" the law of your life, forgetting self in your kind attentions to othersST May 25, 1882, Art. A, par. 11.

By practicing these thoughtful courtesies, which begin in the home and extend to all social intercourse, you help make up the sum of life's happinessRH June 22, 1886, par. 7+1. If you move with the meekness and simplicity of Christ, your example will not be without effect, and you will find rest and peace in committing your soul to GodAH 450.2+1. Use the prayer of the Psalmist as you go: "Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not" Psalms 17:51888 475.2.