p. 82 | The Mother's Victory

The Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Michigan · Aug 14, 1866

The Mother's Victory.

"MARY, dear, will you go up to my room and bring down the china pitcher that stands on the table, near the window?" said Mrs. James to her little daughter, that was busy at play with her large, new doll.

"O yes, mamma; I am glad I can do something to help you." And the child cheerfully laid aside her playfulness, and started with a light, happy heart to do her mother's bidding; but unfortunately, while returning, and only half way down stairs, her foot slipped, and she was precipitated to the bottom.

On hearing the noise, her mother ran into the hall, and seeing the fragments of her beautiful new pitcher scattered on the floor, exclaimed, very impatiently—

"Oh, dear! what a careless girl you are, Mary! What does make you so clumsy? Just see what you've done; you've broken to atoms my nice pitcher I bought only a week ago." Then, without inquiring whether the child was injured by the fall, added in a harsh tone: "Now pick up every piece and carry them away. Come, work spry."

Just at this moment Mrs. Worth, a sister-in-law of Mrs. James, came into the hall, and learning the nature of the accident, inquired in a very affectionate manner—

"Did you hurt yourself much, darling? Let me gather up the fragments."

"No, sister, Betty can do that; but I wanted to teach Mary to be more careful."

Aunt Julia took the hand of the little girl, who stood trembling, while the large scalding tears chased each other down her cheeks, and carried her to her own room near by, and tried to soothe her troubled mind, and ascertain more about her injury. She soon found the little child was suffering from several severe bruises; but the harsh words of her mother had added a deeper pang. By the kind attentions, and gentle affectionate words and manner of Mrs. Worth, her sufferings were in a measure alleviated; but it was long after her usual hour of retiring before she could obtain any quiet rest that night. Several times she would start up from an unquiet slumber, and exclaim in an agonizing tone: "Oh, ma, don't! don't talk so, you hurt me. Oh, you do hurt me so! I did not mean to break it." Then again would rouse up, grasp the hand of her aunt, and say imploringly: "Oh my good aunty, don't leave Mary!" This was heart-rending to Mrs. James, who was constantly in the room, but could do nothing to quiet her darling child; and bitter, indeed, was the reflection to her that her own injustice and unkind treatment had occasioned so much mental suffering to her child, that had always endured any physical pain like a martyr.

Great was the joy of all when at length she sank into a quiet slumber, and especially so to her mother. And it is but justice to her to remark that usually she was a kind and devoted parent, and loved her children dearly, but when excited would occasionally use language which in her moments of reflection often caused her sorrow of heart. She had never learned to govern her temper. That conquest, which of all others is the most sublime and ennobling, she had never gained. Two or three hours had elapsed, and Mary continued to sleep quietly, and Mrs. James inquired—

"Had you not better retire, sister, and try and get some rest? I think Mary will sleep well now."

"Oh no; I dare not leave her a moment. If she should wake, I must be close by; so much will depend on keeping her quiet." So saying, the skillful nurse applied another wet cloth to the temples of the sleeping child. "Oh how grateful I am for your untiring care! I can never repay you for your kindness. I am sure this will be a lesson to me as long as I live. Yes, Julia, I will govern myself in future, and not give way to my excitable disposition. I have one source of trial I am sure you never had, and I often wish I could possess your equanimity, for I sometimes speak harshly to my children, for which I feel rebuked. Oh how gladly would I recall what I said to Mary this afternoon, if it were in my power? But I did not think at the time that she would lay it to heart as she did. I am sure Ellen or Kate would not have minded it near as much, if I had said the same to either of them."

"You must be aware that Mary's disposition is entirely different from that of the other girls; with her remarkably sensitive nature, which renders her susceptible of intense mental suffering, and then, so affectionate as she is, one word of censure, if she is not blameworthy, from one she loves, must cut like a blade of steel. Whenever I meet with children of her temperament, my sympathies are always enlisted for them, and I tremble to think of what they must endure, as parents and teachers usually exercise so little discrimination in regard to the different dispositions of those under their care. They should make this their study, for the discipline which might be proper and even necessary for one child would be entirely wrong for another possessing a different temperament. You will pardon me, sister, if I speak plainly on this subject. I always find that when a mother unites gentleness with firmness, she can, with any child, much more effectually correct a foible and maintain parental authority by mild, persuasive measures than by harsh censure. I make it a rule never to correct one of my children when I am excited, for I must own that I am naturally passionate, although you may have judged me differently. But I have long endeavored to control myself, and not give way to my hasty temper, and if I have succeeded in any measure in this self-conquest, it is owing to Divine aid."

Mrs. James, who was in a state of mind to receive admonition, replied: "Oh that I might be able to overcome my besetting sin! for I realize wherein I have erred;" then, going to the couch of her daughter, and gazing fondly upon her beautiful features, added, with emotion: "Better to have broken all my new and expensive china-ware than to break the spirit of such a lovely and loving child!" Then turning to her friend: "Most cordially do I thank you for your kind and profitable suggestions and timely counsel, and will try to practice accordingly."

The next morning the little invalid awoke much invigorated by quiet rest, and before many hours was able to walk about the room, although her countenance still looked pale and sad; but, thanks to the judicious management and singular tact of her aunt, who was still her constant companion, her mind was diverted as much as possible from her recent troubles, and occupied with something pleasant and cheerful.

One week later, and Mary having nearly recovered her usual health, was permitted to accompany Mrs. Worth to her delightful home, a few miles distant.

It was not long after the occurrence just related before the family of Mrs. James observed quite a change in her deportment, and which became more and more apparent. Not only had she resolved on an amendment, but had carried her resolutions into practice, trusting in him who has said, "My grace is sufficient for thee." But this conquest was not accomplished at once or without many severe struggles; having to wage war, not only with her natural disposition, but with the tyrannical power, confirmed habit. At length the lovely virtues, patience and forbearance, flourished in perennial beauty. Now that mother no longer casts a dark shadow athwart the path of some loved one, but her entire household shares in the genial rays which pervade her own soul, casting a cheerful, inspiring influence on all around. Verily, "Better is he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."—Sel.