The Parent, the Child, and the Teacher
By Mrs. Lucy Green Adams
“WHAT shall be the attitude of parents when there has been difficulty between child and teacher?” Upon the right answer to this question rests in large measure the success of our church schools. If parents would heartily co-operate with the teacher in all matters of discipline, there would be little difficulty between child and teacher. In the first place let us make sure that as parents we really love our children. Many parents love their children with a superficial love, which looks only at present enjoyment. The child is indulged, and allowed to have his own way at home; so when he starts to school, the lesson of submission to rightful authority is necessarily a hard one to learn. And those parents are quick to take offense at any correction the child may receive at the hands of the teacher. So much depends upon the parents' attitude in such cases that I might almost say the question of order and discipline in the school depends upon the discipline of the parents themselves. The better way is for parents to look into their children's future, and see the results of lax training at home, its effect upon their characters, and upon their ability to grapple successfully with the difficulties they may meet. How can the parents co-operate with the teacher in the child's training to secure the best results for the child?—Suppose a child brings home a note from the teacher, telling of gross disorder or open rebellion against the rules of the school, and asking for the co-operation of the parents in securing future obedience,—should the parents pass it lightly by as unworthy their notice, or simply scold the child, and bid him behave in future? Rather, should not that gentle tact be used which is the gift of all mothers who ask for wisdom, in drawing from the child a reason for such behavior and the motives underlying his conduct? If this is done, the way is open for a heart-to-heart talk, and the child gets an insight into the motives of the teacher in insisting upon order. The child will thus be led to appreciate the fact that his teacher is planning and working constantly for his good, instead of against him. This will lead the child to greater interest in the school, and he will be willing to make an apology for his misconduct, and not be likely to give further trouble. But suppose the teacher has taken it upon himself to correct the child, and may even have used corporal punishment, what then should be the attitude of the parents? If he flies into a passion, and says that no teacher shall be permitted to punish his child, and threatens all sorts of things, will that tend to secure future obedience and respect for the teacher's authority? Nothing is so demoralizing to a child as to hear his parents berate the teacher, and plainly show that they have no sympathy with him or his methods. Far better to tell the child the correction was doubtless deserved; that if he had given no offense, he would have had no trouble; that if he gives further trouble, he will have to be punished at home; then when the child sees that his course is not upheld at home, he will be more submissive in school. If parents feel that the teacher has done wrong in punishing their children, they should follow the Bible rule, and go and tell him his fault alone, rather than allow the children to see any lack of sympathy with the teacher. Perhaps the punishment was unjust: one child may have been corrected for the faults of another. Teachers are sometimes overworked and nervous, and do not take time to inquire into the details of some trouble, and, in haste to get the difficulty settled, may deal out punishment unjustly. What, then, should be the attitude of the parents? Nothing hurts a child's feelings more than to be punished for something he has not done, and of course it hurts the parents as well. But if in the spirit of the Master, who often suffered unjustly, we take the child to the teacher, and patiently wait until the matter is fully explained, we shall find in nearly every case that the teacher is more than anxious to make wrongs right, and the child will learn the valuable lesson of maintaining a meek and quiet spirit even when he is falsely spoken against. We all believe a Christian teacher has the best interests of our children at heart; so when he makes a mistake, let us remember that we are human, and often make mistakes ourselves. Let us exercise the grace of charity, which covers a multitude of sins. A teacher can often see faults in a child, to which the eyes of a fond parent are entirely blind. Let us, then, co-operate with the teacher in helping the child form a beautiful, symmetrical character, and let us never nullify his efforts by criticism at home before the children, no matter how much we may feel he is in the wrong. Nothing so inspires a child's confidence in his teacher as to see the high regard in which that teacher is held by his parents. Therefore let us use every opportunity to show the child how highly we respect his teacher, and the question of discipline in school will solve itself.