p. 135 | Upsetting Moses

Seventh-day Adventist Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Mar 23, 1882

Upsetting Moses.

ONE of the wits of the National Baptist has written a "Saw-mill Dissertation" on the subject of "Upsetting Moses," from which we take an extract: Jim Manley began the talk. "I say, deacon, Darwin's theory of evolution is a little hard on Genesis. Of course we don't know yet how it will turn out; but it looks a little as though they were going to upset Moses."

The deacon made no answer. He surely must have heard Jim's remark. Presently he was observed to be counting his fingers slowly, and with pauses for thought, between each enumeration. After awhile Jim ventured to ask, "Counting your saw-logs, deacon, aren't you?"

"No," said the deacon; "I'll tell you. Your remark set me to thinking. I was just counting up how many times in the course of human history, somebody has upset Moses. First of all, two old jugglers, named Jannes and Jambres, undertook this; but they failed. Then a certain king named Pharaoh went at the work of upsetting. He must have found it more of a work than he anticipated, for he has not reached home yet. Then, three leaders of liberal thought, Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, went at the job. They failed in the upsetting part; but they secured a bit of ranch for themselves which they and their children hold quiet possession of, until this day. Later on a king named Nebuchadnezzar entered upon the upsetting business. He did not succeed either. He spent seven years chained to a stump; and when he had changed his mind, was a sadder and wiser man. His successor met with still greater disaster in a similar attempt. Since that time there have been no end of persons who have tried to upset Moses. Some ancient heathen, Celsus and Porphyry, and Julian the Apostate; and latterly these German critics, and these scientists, so called, are at the same thing.

Years ago, when I was in Boston, I heard of a meeting of Freethinkers at a place called Chapman Hall. I could not resist the temptation to go just once and hear what they said. I found about twenty persons there. Three or four of them were women; all the rest were men. And what do you think they were doing? They were engaged in the old enterprise of upsetting Moses. And yet Moses hath to-day, in the synagogues of Boston, more persons that preach him than he ever had before.

It is astonishing how much upsetting it takes to upset Moses. It is like upsetting a granite cube. Turn it on which face you will, there it stands as solid as ever. The cube is used to being upset, and does not mind it. It always amuses me when I hear a fresh cry from some new quarter, averring that some man whom nobody has ever before heard of, has found out a sure way of doing what all others have failed in. And now here comes Jim Manley; and Moses has to be upset again. Ah, well—" and the deacon sighed.

There was a roar of laughter which made the rafters of the saw-mill ring, and all joined in it except Jim.—Christian Observer.