p. 12 | Letter to a Perplexed Mother by Mrs. C. C. L.

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Dec 3, 1914

Letter to a Perplexed Mother

By Mrs. C. C. L.

Practical Problems of Home Makers—No. 1

Mrs. C. C. L.

Letter to a Perplexed Mother

I HAVE been very much interested in reading your letter, and my sympathy certainly goes out to you in your perplexing situation. I hardly know where to begin, but I want to congratulate you on having so many boys. Perhaps I should tell you that I am not prepared to sympathize with the one condition you speak of, that of not liking boys; for I like boys very much, although I confess I do not always understand them. However, I think boys would be more easily managed if more people understood them and tried to hold their interest and their sympathies.

You speak of poverty. That is the common lot of many, and we have to make the best of it. I am very sorry about your poor health. I certainly hope that it will soon improve.

On general principles, the best thing to do is to enter into as close companionship as possible with the boys. Plan little surprises for them, and strive in every way you can to win their affection; because, if they love you and see that you love them, you will be able to accomplish much more for them than if you simply deny their requests. It is sometimes hard for boys to see that their parents are working for their good when they are denying them the privileges which the boys think are only reasonable.

You speak of the little boys going away, but do not say whether or not they have returned home. I am anxious to know whether they have come back. Usually boys who do this are glad to return. I think it is well at such times to say as little as possible, but try to show affection and interest for the youngsters.

You speak of having fallen into many evil ways. Now, I do not need to tell you that the first thing to do is to put away these things. You cannot, of course, expect the Lord to bless you when you continue to do the things which your conscience disapproves. If the children see that you are sincerely striving to overcome, and you manifest patience and kindness in your dealings with them, it will help them to be more obedient.

I think perhaps your poor health is one cause of your darkness. It may be that your feeling of depression is due to that more than to wrongdoing. I deeply sympathize with you in this frame of mind, for I personally know something of what it means to be in darkness. I think, as I have said before, that it may be largely due to your physical condition, for poor health and a run-down condition of the nervous system have a great influence on the mind. Now, can you not cheer up, my sister? God is very pitiful, and he is especially tender to mothers who are striving to hold up a high standard in their homes. I should advise you to trust the Lord and cultivate a cheerful spirit. Try to hum or sing little songs of faith, and let the sunshine come into your life. This will have a wonderful effect on the children, and I am sure it will lighten your heart.

You speak of having been so disappointed when you found that the family cares took you away from giving the message. I wish I could help you to see that the mother who in her own home holds up the standard of righteousness and is trying to bring up her children for the Lord, is really in the work. Who could have a greater mission than to have the rearing of children in the principles of righteousness? Do you not remember that the spirit of prophecy says that the mother who abides at home and faithfully performs the tasks devolving upon her is doing as great a work as the minister in the desk? Now, I want you to put the thought forever from your mind that you are not in the Lord’s work. You are doing a work that no one else can do for you; and while these children are about you is your opportunity to plant seeds of truth and righteousness in their minds. You cannot tell what they may do as they grow to be men. I want to encourage you again to look up and cheer up. Put away everything that you are conscious is wrong, and trust God to bring out all right in the end those things over which you have no control.

I notice that you speak of the amusement question. I should try to plan amusements at home as much as possible, and sometimes the neighbors could come in and spend the evening in some simple, wholesome way that would satisfy the children while keeping them under the supervision of their parents.

I shall be glad to hear from you again. I am much interested in your problems, and deeply sympathize with you; so please be free to write me, and if I can help you in any way I shall be glad to do so. I pray that the Lord may give you light, and health, and strength, and that your children may grow up to be obedient and may prove a joy to you.