p. 15 | MRS. C. L. STONE by Mrs. C. L. Stone

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D.C. · May 20, 1915

MRS. C. L. STONE

By Mrs. C. L. Stone

Training in Habits of Order and Helpfulness — No. 1

MRS. C. L. STONE

I INFER that my subject implies a training in motive as well as in the ability to do, and I shall treat these two phases separately, although the development of each reacts upon the other.

There arises before me a vision of many homes where I have been, either as a guest or as a member of the family for a time. In some a jarring note has constantly pervaded. The overworked, tired mother has tried in her blind, misunderstanding way to train her children to assist in the multitude of her household tasks, only to be met with peevishness and shirking on their part, until she felt it easier to do the work herself than to require it of them. There being too much for one pair of hands to do, many things were left undone, until the entire household had an atmosphere of disorder, and strained, never-ending work.

In other homes, the loving service so gladly rendered the mother by her children did much to lighten her burdens and cause the wheels of the home to run smoothly. One delights to linger in the atmosphere of peace and order in such a home.

I pondered often for the solution of these two conditions. What is the secret of the latter type of mothers in the training of their children? I have come to believe it is love and unselfishness, combined with clear, definite, pedagogical ideas of training. By love and unselfishness I do not mean the foolish sentimentalism which prompts the mother to shield her daughter from all burdens and labor, but the pure, unselfish love of humanity which includes not alone our own little family circle but all of God's creatures,—the love which prompts a feeling of sympathy for the little human playmates of the children, and a spirit of tenderness and gentleness for the helpless lower animals.

Example goes a long way; and if in the lives of parents there is an abiding love of helpfulness, manifesting itself in both words and actions, the little child will inhale this spirit in the very atmosphere he breathes. When he is obliged to give up his playthings to a younger brother or sister, if the mother can reveal to him the pleasure which comes from making baby happy, she will have started into development that vital germ of love which is of far more value than merely amusing baby. It does take time and tact, but she will reap a hundredfold of blessing later on.

It has been my privilege to have under my care in the schoolroom about a thousand different children, and I do not remember one among them all in whom this feeling of protection for the weaker ones did not touch a responsive chord. I have found it an able ally in teaching helpfulness.

I have seen a roomful of little children so interested in the growth of a large missionary garden that they gladly gave up their recess periods to work in the garden as often as the teacher would allow it. Stories had been told them of the actual experiences of the missionaries; of the hardships they bear, and of the great need of the people among whom they labor. The supreme motive inspiring these children was a desire to relieve suffering, a desire to help. Their pleasure reached its climax when the vegetables were gathered and sold and the money sent to the far-off mission field, as their shining eyes and bright, happy faces attested.

One cannot begin too early to teach unselfishness by having the little ones share their playthings and sweets. The mother who says to her child, “Eat it all yourself; do not give any of it away, for I cannot afford to buy candy for the neighbors' children,” will reap a sad harvest of selfishness.

The little one can be taught to enjoy, to make a game of, putting away the playthings it was so much fun to scatter. He loves appreciation; and if we notice and show our appreciation when he has put away his playthings, the little task becomes a real pleasure to him. As he grows older, the incentive to “surprise father” or “please mother” by some little service of love becomes a powerful inspiration. The words of Henry Turner Bailey, addressed to teachers, are no less important for parents: “From the first the children should be taught that service is the end of life. They should serve each other, help the teacher, cooperate in school tasks, and actively participate in developing a fine school spirit.”

Teachers of the present day give much thought and time to making the work of pupils interesting and pleasant. They study psychology, pedagogy, and methods, that they may know how to adapt their requirements to the growing child-mind. A corresponding amount of thought and planning on the part of parents to make home duties interesting and pleasant will result in an equal degree of response on the part of our children. But after all has been said, this love of service must burn in our own hearts before we can inspire it in our children.

Takoma Park, D. C.