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Patience with the Love

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Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Dec 14, 1916

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 93, No. 62.

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Patience with the Love

By Mrs. I. H. E.

THE poem, “My Dear Little Girl Who Died,” printed at the head of this page, was written by a mother whose little daughter died as the family were on their way to Chile last February. Out of her loss and sorrow, this mother says:—
“I counsel mothers to seek patience, and to appreciate the prattle of the childish lips; for the loneliness is intolerable when the children are gone.”
Long ago the apostle wrote, “Ye have need of patience;” and surely there has never been an hour since these words were penned when the need of this particular grace was more manifest than now. For we live in those “perilous times” described by Paul,—times when sin in varied forms lifts up its brazen head, when temptation besets the children and youth on every hand, and when “perplexity” knocks alike insistently at the door of palace and cottage. Four times, in five short verses, speaking of these very days, James exhorts to this grace: “Be patient therefore;” “Be ye also patient;” “Take, my brethren, the prophets, . . . for an example . . . of patience;” and, “Ye have heard of the patience of Job.”
Parents need patience, fathers as well as mothers; for there is no other place where this grace shines with so clear a light, or where its influence is so conducive to winning and saving human souls, as within the four walls of home. Much else may be lacking, many of the things we have come to consider as essentials may even be spared, if the mother maintains under all circumstances a spirit of serenity and poise, and the father is calm and just, quick to recognize effort and slow to criticize mistakes.
Most parents love their children—that goes without saying. They give up their time to working for them; they deny themselves needed rest and the leisure for self-improvement, that their sons and daughters may have advantages which they themselves never enjoyed; often they even sacrifice their lives for their children; yet how few, how pitifully few, really exercise the grace of patience in their daily contact with these young lives! For it is the nature of youth to demand, unconsciously but none the less insistently at first, and more and more insistently as the years pass. Some one must meet these demands—the father at his daily toil, the mother in the home. And there are so many wants to satisfy, so much to teach, such a staggering list of necessary things to be crossed off the calendar every day, that human patience often gives way under the strain, and scolding and fretfulness come in.
Patience is defined as enduring affliction and loss, suffering with resignation and without complaint. Patience is a habit of mind, “the ornament of kingly souls.” It is one of the crowning Christian graces, a fruit of the Holy Spirit, like faith, love, joy, and peace. It can be acquired and cultivated, as can other virtues; for we are commanded to follow after “love, patience, meekness.”
To be patient, one must first of all have a contented heart; he must be resigned to his lot, and with good cheer undertake the tasks he has to perform. Patience does not indicate indolence, indifference, or irregularity. It may, indeed, indicate the very opposite. One thing it does stand for, and that is self-control.
Even heathen and pagans have possessed this grace to a remarkable degree.
The Stoics taught patience as the highest attainable virtue. By precept and example Socrates showed that patience could be obtained, and a state of mind maintained that would make man content with his lot. Epictetus, when under torture, smiled at his tormentor, and addressed him calmly and reasonably.
It takes a resolute will to be patient under provocation. When hot, fiery words are uttered, we must not retort in kind; when our cherished plans are frustrated and our suggestions ignored, we must not allow ourselves to feel hurt; when coldness and neglect wound our soul, we must be the more careful not to wound others.
It takes strength to be patient,—the strength that comes to those who take time to wait on the Lord for the renewal of that spiritual force that alone can withstand the constantly repeated bombardment of those little annoyances which, too trifling to consider when taken one by one, bring complete defeat and consequent discouragement to many a woman before her day’s work is over. Happy are those who have learned the secret of going often aside “to let a cool drop of heaven’s dew” fall into their parched and weary hearts, and who know by experience the refreshing of those moments which enable them to take up the load and carry it cheerily a little longer.
Patience is not an easily won grace. Like all rare and valuable things, one must pay the price. And the time to pay is now, while the children are little and your hands are full; while the older ones are pulling away from the home ties, and only your love and gentleness perhaps can hold them,—now, while things seem hardest, is the time of all times to be patient. It is easy enough in retrospect to be sorry for impatience, but regret will not undo the past. And it is easy to be happy and cheerful and kind when everything is moving along smoothly, but there is no special help in such an example.
As the diamond, pure and precious, is formed by the pressure of rocks and by great heat, so patience is the grace of those who pass through troubles, who know sorrow and distress and pain, and who yet rely on God’s help for strength to meet all cheerfully. To such “tribulation worketh patience,” because it drives them always closer and closer to their Helper.
“Let us be patient; let us keep Our watch fires faithful as God’s stars, Whatever storm or shadow mars The breadth of life’s uncertain deep. “Let us be patient; let men trace No frown, no insincerity, In skies of ours, that all may see God’s Spirit in his child’s calm face.”
MRS. I. H. E.