p. 170 | MINISTERS’ WIVES by N. Fuller

The Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Sep 15, 1868

MINISTERS’ WIVES.

By N. Fuller

I know of nothing that more certainly affects the labors of ministers than the conduct and deportment of their wives.

That a minister should have a wife, I admit.
She should be the right kind of a wife, or his labors will be nearly a failure.
That such ministers’ wives are scarce, I assert.

In regard to the first point, I would say, Young ministers, and men who afterward become such, destroy themselves by a union with a woman entirely unsuitable for them.

I ask, Why? and the answer is, They will not take the advice of those of experience.

Love is blind. It has no eyes; and when men get blind, the Devil fastens his halter to their necks, and leads them to the gulf of ruin. Young men, beware! learn wisdom from the things others have suffered.

2. What is it to be a right kind of a wife? Paul has well described it in 2 Tim. iii, 11: “GRAVE, not slanderous, sober, faithful in all things.”

The pen that recorded these words was moved by the Spirit “of the Father of light, with whom is no variableness nor shadow of turning.” Now look at nine-tenths of the ministers’ wives of the nineteenth century. They are vain and frivolous, and you cannot distinguish them from other religionists of the day. Has God changed? He has not. This change is an apostasy from God. I do not mean to say there has not been as great a change in ministers. With shame I acknowledge there has been. Minister’s wives are called to be help-meets in the gospel, and their influence either serves to strengthen and encourage, or to pull down and destroy their husband’s usefulness.

Look around, and see how many you can find who are faithful in all things; faithful in all home duties, not only to the common household matters, but to having her husband’s toilet all neatly arranged, that he may appear before the people respectably, “in decency and in order,” and cheerfully trying to make home what it ought to be.

But, hark! what do I hear? Fault-finding, complaining, fretting. Their lot is so exceedingly hard. They would not do as their husband does, labor so hard for so little pay, and so few thanks; suffer so many privations and have so little for a reward. These things, and a thousand others like them, are all their husbands can hear when he returns from his labors, careworn and weary.

Home is everything but a desirable place to him on this account.

The frowns of Heaven are upon such companions. They will have their reward; and it will be said finally, “Depart from me, I never knew you.”

Now listen. What do you hear? Another class whose tongue it would seem must have been made of the most durable substance, and hung in the middle, on hinges that can never wear out. Then that unruly member was set on perpetual motion. That everlasting, unceasing rattle must be endured by all who chance to be the wretched victims. Offensive, disgusting, repulsive; and these words cannot express what I mean, only to those who have experienced it.

I have done this, I have done that. My husband could not have done it if it had not been for me.

Children squalling, house in disorder, everything out of repair; but self-praise, and talking about that brother, and this sister, must go on. It is the business of the morning, noon, and night.

The husband becomes disgusted, and frequently seeks society abroad, and sometimes finds sympathy among females, that prove, sooner or later, his utter ruin. Now the wife complains that she is abused and neglected by her husband!

Who is to blame? The answer comes, Whatever blame may attach to him, she also is to blame. She has ruined herself and family; and the cause of God has been disgraced in consequence.

I can call to mind three cases of apostasy of ministers, belonging to different denominations. They have violated the seventh commandment. What was the first moving cause? The wrong course of their wives. They are none the less guilty; but the wrath of God will burst forth upon the head of that woman, who may be justified by her friends, and perhaps many of her neighbors.

Selfishness has blinded the eyes of thousands who profess to be laboring for Christ. They make visiting excursions, instead of helping to bear the cross, and exhorting souls to come to Christ. They always find an excuse to be somewhere else than at the prayer-meeting. If they kneel beside their husbands in time of prayer, they will commence to gape and yawn, as though they had no interest in what was passing.

Heaven pity such unfortunate men. Many of them have already fallen, and, no doubt, others will.

But where are the faithful ones? Those ready to bear the cross, to endure hardships without complaining; those who stand by their husband’s side ready to help, with modesty, sobriety, speaking evil of none—making it the chief object of life to persuade souls to Christ? They are scarce.

N. FULLER.

Wellsville, Aug. 12, 1868.