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A Chapter from Life

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Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D.C. · Aug 17, 1916

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 93, No. 41.

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A Chapter from Life

By L. A. S.

L. A. S.
NEARLY fifty years ago the lives of two young people were blended into one, and a new home was started. They were poor in this world’s goods, but rich in love and health and happiness. They left their native State, and came by “prairie schooner” to the Middle West, and settled on a homestead.
When they left their parental homes, each father had given them a good horse and cow; and packed away in a large chest was a new “feather bed,” and for those days an ample supply of homemade bedding, which had been prepared by the bride and her mother. They were cozy and comfortable in their neat little sod house. At once they began to plant corn, potatoes, pumpkins, melons, and all kinds of vegetables, and their labor was rewarded with a good crop.
In the fall the wife was engaged to teach the district school for twenty-five dollars a month. This seemed like affluence, and helped greatly in providing tools and farming implements, also a few comforts for the home. The next year a baby boy came to add to their happiness, and a few months later the family moved into a new frame house of two rooms, of which they were justly proud.
There was not much shopping done in those days, as the nearest trading point was twenty-five miles away; nor was there any such thing as a charge account. A load of wheat or corn from the farm, with perhaps some butter and eggs, was taken to town, and exchanged for what was needed in the house. Ina few years railroads were built through the country, and little towns and villages sprang up almost in a night. This change enabled the family to drive into town and do their trading, and be back home at noon. Still there was very little real money handled, and of course only one purse was needed; but the kind husband always said, “It is just as much yours as mine,” and when the wife asked for money, she always received it. She knew what they could afford to buy, and was just as anxious to live within their means as was he.
Sometimes she used to wish she could earn a little money of her own, so she would not have to ask her husband for it, although he was always willing to give it to her. But there were other babies by this time, and household duties were many, including the work of taking care of the milk, making butter, raising chickens, etc., so she banished the thought from her mind.
After twenty years on the farm the family moved to the city, that the children might have better school privileges. Up to this time the husband and wife had always gone together on their little shopping expeditions, and really there was no need of two purses. Often he had said, “I think it much nicer to have just one purse, and both use it; for husbands and wives often have misunderstandings over that very thing. One will say, ‘Now you buy this with your money, and I’ll buy this with mine;’ but the other will say, ‘You ought to pay for this or that.’ Now this would not happen if there were only one purse, and both felt free to draw from it.”
If there was a call for charity or for church or missionary work, they always talked it over, and decided what they could afford to give; but the wife used sometimes to think it would be a real pleasure to have a little money all her own, and decide all by herself whether she should spend it on herself or deny self and give it to some worthy cause. However, so closely did John and Mary agree in almost everything that the things they did not see alike were not worth talking about.
After the children were grown, the daughter was overheard remarking to a friend, “We children can never remember hearing our father and mother argue or dispute over anything. They always seem to look at things just alike.”
A few days before John’s birthday in a certain year, several dollars came very unexpectedly into the possession of the wife, and it was such a pleasure to buy him a nice birthday present. When the morning came, she was so happy over his words of appreciation, and when evening came, and they were sitting alone, he thanked her again. With tears of happiness in her eyes and voice, she said, “Do you know this is the first birthday present I ever gave you?” He said, “Why, what do you mean? You always give me something, perhaps not quite so nice as this, but always something that I appreciate.”
“But I mean this is the first present that I ever really gave you. Always before I have gone to your purse and taken the money (for of course I wanted it to be a surprise), and I always felt like a thief, and thought I might as well leave the money there and let you buy your own present.”
Then the tears were in his eyes, and he exclaimed, “Why, mother, do you feel that way about it?”
“Every woman feels the same way,” she answered, quietly.
They sat together and talked it all over. She told him she did not want to be “independent,” and buy all her own things; she would much rather the arrangement remain as it was; but she would like to have a certain small amount each month to regard as her very own, and spend or save just as she pleased. Quickly this was agreed upon, and when John saw how happy it made her, they were both sorry they had not talked it over long before.
This little chapter from life is related in the hope that it may help some good husband to realize that although his wife may love him better than her own life, and have implicit confidence and trust in him, yet it would add greatly to her happiness if he would trust her with ever so small an amount of money each month, not because she wishes to be independent or have any secrets from him, but because she could plan many pleasant little surprises for him and the children. Just try this plan, and see how much it will add to your own happiness. You will never want to go back to the old way.